Where Personal and Professional Life Collide...

Today, I am fighting off the urge to explain to people the difference between depression ("I'm feeling depressed about that,") and Depression, the clinical state. Confusing them does nobody any good - you can't "make someone feel better" when they have Depression.

On the other hand, scolding someone who is talking about depression for not using the proper terms of Depression doesn't do anyone any good, either. Because people DO get depressed for reasons that have nothing to do with the chemical causes of Depression, and they shouldn't be made to feel worse because someone else thinks only in terms of the clinical form and penalizes all others to the point of abusing a person who's already feeling bad.

Should there be different common terms for the clinical and non-clinical state? Possibly. Until then, can we at least read the context before we go off on someone for using the terms? Sometimes "I'm depressed" just means they're (justifiably) depressed. Not that they have Depression.

Eeyore thanks you.


(this grumble brought to you by somebody else's rant on Tumblr)

Note to self: sleeping until 7:30 does not make you a bad person, it makes you a tired person.

(especially since you did get up at 5am when there was a crash outside - reaching for Softwing as you went, yay reflexes- and then again at 6am to feed the cats, and fell asleep again with the light on)

You're awake now, and productive (even if not by your apparently insane levels) and there's nothing wrong with anything that can't be fixed by skills you already have. Even with an hour less in the day.



Also: your irritation with Certain People does not make you a bad person, it makes you a person who has little patience for mansplanning and a particular set of Privilege.

Your willingness to tear a strip of hide from those people may make you a bad person, at least from their POV. If so, you can live with that.

I have Great Plans for today. They involve incorporating my betareader's notes on "Praise the Devil" and polishing that off, getting a few thousand words written on PSI#4, putting together my editorial notes for a freelance project, invoicing finished freelance work, paying bills and printing out paperwork for the guvment (apparently I get money back from one hand and owe to the other. which is much the way guvment works, I suspect). Also, replying to pending email, laundry, making another vet appointment for Elder Cat, and ordering groceries.

The main thing, though, is the Great Plan to not actually speak to another human being, and most especially not in any way that requires me to be Up, Cheerful, and Interesting.

(the folks at the vet don't expect me to be any of these things, especially when bringing Elder Cat in again)


See... I am a classic midline introvert. I like people, a lot. I like talking to people. I like listening to people. But interacting exhausts me*. In the course of a normal day, I get to go out, interact for a handful of hours, and then retreat home to recharge (this is why I have cats. They don't ask me to be On, just There). In the course of a convention, on the other hand... the moment I leave my hotel room, I have to be ready to interact at any moment, from the hallway to the elevator to the conference floor, to the meals, etc etc. In person, with enthusiasm and real interest. And I enjoy doing it (I wouldn't be there, otherwise), but over the course of 3-5 days there is a constant drain of energy, like a leaky tub, and eventually, inevitably, I run dry.

And yeah, there is the hotel room to retreat to, but there are also obligations that keep me out of the room. Because I'm there to Interact.

And even when I think I'm home free, I'm not, really - on the shuttle to the airport, normally a time of quiet introspection, I ended up sitting with the winner of the Mr Romance contest (yes, really, RT has such a thing, and it's quite entertaining), and he and I got to talking, as one does, about travel and obligations and exhaustion...yes, I was talking about the costs of performing and related exhaustion while suffering from same and trying to avoid more of same. Very meta, I know.

So. Today, the plan is to interact to as few people as possible, and see no-one in person except maybe my neighbor, who understands that a wave is as good as a conversation, some days.

Tomorrow, I'll think about calling my mom**.

(also: no makeup. I have worn more makeup in the past week than I usually do in a month. All right, that's about one day's worth for many people, but still. I may not even brush my hair.)


*there are some folk who do not drain me, interacting. A friend in the same situation refers to them as not-people, and it is (from me, anyway) a compliment. I couldn't tell you what it is that makes them non-people, only that I know it when I'm around them. If I ever find someone who is a reverse-person, who actually recharges me, I am going to lock them in my basement and keep them forever. Except I don't have a basement. Darn.

**and The Guy. Okay, I already spoke to The Guy and will see him tomorrow. But he wouldn't be The Guy if he wasn't a not-person (see above definition).

So there is a Person on Facebook who requested to friend me. Since I didn't recognize the name, I did a basic looksee -- account seemed legit, there were no obvious warning signs (being a member of NAMBLA, FantasyWritersRTheAntiChrist, etc etc), had a number of other writers friended, so probably was a reader -- so I said yes.

( the rest of the story )

I keep hearing people say, over and over again, that the right to free speech trumps responsibility for what we say. Even or perhaps especially if words are our tools-of-trade. I wonder how they can look themselves in the mirror - or look at their children -- after that.

You choose to exercise the right of free speech. That does not mean you're responsible for what people do with it...but you ARE responsible for influencing them. I mean, isn't that the basic idea of thanking a teacher?

I get a lot of e-mail. I get a lot of e-mail Asking For Things. And so when I get a letter asking me for help, be it as a private citizen or in my guise as Somewhat Known Author, I do three things:

1. I read it, to see if it sets off any of my "scam" alerts. That includes a misspelled or inaccurate use of my name, content that is utterly unconnected with me ("As you are a major supporter of Organization I've Never Heard Of" or mention of Christ Our Lord), or glaringly obvious misuses of the English language (yes, I know not everyone is a writer. But if you're going to write a Beg Letter, it behooves you to come across as a professional).

If it checks out, I go on to #2:

I determine if this is an organization or individual I have heard of, or have some connection that would indicate why they reached out to me (We follow your blog, and know that you share our interest in..."). Or, similarly, they are referred to me by a known third party.

If the letter clears that hurdle, or at least has reasonable justification, I go on to #3:

I enter their name and/or organization into a search browser, and see what comes up.

If, on doing #3, there is no mention in the first two pages of results, or -- on finding a website that connects to your organization but there is no mention of your name or campaign on it -- then the odds are high I'm not going to respond. And I am sure as hell not going to open any attachments you send with your email.

So if you sent me a legitimate request in the past 6 months but haven't heard back...you might want to reconsider your approach.

Editor steals article for cookssource magazine; when writer complains says writer should be thankful: http://bit.ly/93EUqZ

You should not do this. You especially should not do this to people who know how to use social media. And you really, really should not do it where @neilhimself can comment....

Everyone repeat after me: copyright. It means that you have to get permission -- and, yes, sometimes pay -- to use someone else's work.

Anything else? Is theft. Period, end of story, no wiggle room. No, the Internet is NOT your cut-and-paste playground. And that goes for you students, too. Plagiarism will get you kicked out of any self-respecting school, and fired from any decent job.

For fuck's sake, people. Srsly?

Well, someone has already shown up asking for a pirated copy of "Tales of the Cosa Nostradamus" - "and they don't care what format it's in."

Guys? I'm charging, what, $4.99 for the collection? Someone really can't manage to scrape together half of a movie ticket to buy it? (more to the point, someone doesn't want to scrape together $5 to pay for it.)

And they can't even claim they're "sticking it to the publisher" here, because this is self-published, via BookViewCafe and Smashwords. No, this is just someone who feels Entitled to whatever they want, for free, and never mind that it was someone's physical and mental labor they're taking without any kind of compensation.

Sometimes, I hate people.

News flash: When you do this? You're not showing how much you like someone's work. You're showing how little you respect/value it, and them.

"Tales" was an experiment for me. if I can't even cover the hour-costs of putting it together, because of piracy? Then the experiment failed, and I won't be doing it again.

Hey, less stress and frustration and work for me. Fewer stories for you, tho.




Meanwhile, it took me about 24 hours to eat a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. I'm not sure if that's good, or bad... [I only let myself have ice cram when it's a) over 90 degrees or b) I'm sick, so I don't really have a decent scale for this sort of thing, but I feel like I should have taken 2 days, really...]

Five days of full-out writing have come to an end. I think I got a grand total of 600 words today. *is pathetic*

Okay, I did write some editorial notes, and a load of laundry, and there was a phone interview where I think I was coherent, but the brain, it is not braining well. I think... I will stare at the pretty snow still falling. And take a nap. Yes. And maybe (oh, luxury) order in something for dinner, rather than cooking. Or sleep through dinner, maybe.

Yes, I am too unbrained to cook.


Tomorrow. I will accomplish things... tomorrow.

This headache is not getting any better. Plans for the day under revision.

Meanwhile, the world, it continues to make me wonder WTF?

Dear Catholic Church: Do you REALLY think that's what Jesus would say to do? Really? Not Paul -- Jesus. The guy you say was God's son? You think this is what he meant when he said "love your neighbor as yourself"?

Yesterday the Archdiocese of Washington DC threatened to cut off social services money provided by Catholic Charities to the homeless in the Capital [if marriage equality laws were passed] because the church hierarchy abhors the very idea of gay marriage.