The Crazy Bag Person of Facebook

[lagilman]

So there is a Person on Facebook who requested to friend me. Since I didn't recognize the name, I did a basic looksee -- account seemed legit, there were no obvious warning signs (being a member of NAMBLA, FantasyWritersRTheAntiChrist, etc etc), had a number of other writers friended, so probably was a reader -- so I said yes.

Didn't think too much about it until I happened on a post this Person had made, and -- being somewhat taken aback by the comment -- left a comment asking for clarification. Had Person -really- meant what they said, and did they realize how offensive it was?

In response, my legitimacy to question Person's statement was questioned, as was my education, my relevance, and my being there in the first place. And nope, never did actually respond to my request for clarification.

I have since come to realize that Person is the Crazy Bag Person of Facebook. Seriously, certifiably, somewhat pitiably full-out loony.

Should I keep someone on my friends list just because their wall is like reading surrealist theater? Mmmmm probably not. I don't have time to go down rabbit-holes, and people who wear tin foil hats make me itch. And yet... it's like watching a slow-mo train wreck where you know the sole passenger is too drunk to get injured. I just can't look away.

And it reminds me to be gentle with people, because sometimes they really aren't coming from our part of reality and it's not their fault.

But wow.

{in the end, I defriended Person, mainly because I didn't want anyone to see me on their f-list and think,"ok, Person must be all right, then" Because, no.)


And, to counter all that, a quote from a nicely rational human being:

"I’ll tell you one thing: I was a card-carrying Republican until he did this. Republicans are not this mean. I gotta believe that. I’m now an independent thanks to Scott Walker." - JOEL WAGNER (from an on-the-street interview in, I believe, Democracy Today)

Comments

[mtlawson.livejournal.com]

Your quote captures my feelings precisely. I don't even need to know the details of the post to know that I'd have simply defriended the person without comment. I really dislike the dishonesty disguised as debate that these schmoes try to use; maybe it works in their own group, but not here.

[lagilman]

Actually, the quote at the end and the crazy described within have nothing to do with each other, I just found it soothing and wanted to include it.

Probably should put it all under the cut.

[mtlawson.livejournal.com]

Ah, that's okay. Lack of coffee made me miss nuances there.

[mtlawson.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I saw this making the rounds:

A unionized public employee, a teabagger, and a CEO are sitting at a table. In the middle of the table is a plate with a dozen cookies on it. The CEO reaches across and takes 11 cookies, then looks at the teabagger and says “Watch out for that union guy—he wants a piece of your cookie!”

[jperceval.livejournal.com]

It was Charlie Sheen, wasn't it? *g*

[lagilman]

there were certain striking resemblances, actually...

(I do actually screen people, as per my original post, but sometimes the craZy and/or the troll gets through. Retroactive screening works, too. I may have to deal with the crazy on Twitter but here and Facebook are more moderate [and moderated] gathering places.)

[scottedelman.livejournal.com]

It was good of you to defriend so that your friends won't think you've vetted this person. You'd be amazed at the number of friend requests I get from people I don't know who have tons of mutual friends, yet when I check their recent statuses, I see they're inviting me to go look at their pictures off site which they promise I'll like. In other words, a porn bot. So instead of friending, I block and report them.

I think many people will OK any friend request with no research whatsoever. Not me.

[lagilman]

Yeah, as I said, I do a basic screening, and have ignored a lot of requests that didn't meet some very basic parameters (like some indication of WHY they might want to read my posts - either a personal or a business or a book connection.) I'm not there to rack up huge numbers, but to build a community.

[scottedelman.livejournal.com]

Yes, if I don't know them, never heard of them, and they're not either a writer or artist or a member of fandom (whether officially by going to cons and writing for fanzines, or unofficially by simply having lots of statuses in which they discuss books, etc.), then I am wary.

[chickwriter.livejournal.com]

have ignored a lot of requests that didn't meet some very basic parameters

Yeah, this.

I've friended a handful of people without doing due diligence (as above) and come to regret it: porn links, entreaties to join [insert religion name here], etc., ad nauseum.

Now, I'm a lot more careful.

[joycemocha.livejournal.com]

I do this as well. My Facebook community takes up a lot of various small circles that I interact with, including family, a long-term e-mail list serve membership, high school friends, and a former circle from a Usenet newsgroup (rec.equestrian) that was controversial in its own right, back in the day. Throw in a dash of old political connections, tiptoeing into teacher connections, and I definitely don't want to have the crazy intervene on Facebook.

Gotta say, it can be somewhat entertaining when the different groups start talking at each other. Like, say, the rec.eq crowd (rec.equestrian was not once known as "wreck.eq" for nothing, and my rec.eq connections were gleefully once part of that batch that made the wreck what it is!) talking to the listserve crowd, or the sf crowd. Can be entertaining.

[firynze.livejournal.com]

And this is (one more reason) why I'm only on Facebook to operate a page for the company. Facebook is a Land of Crazy.

[lagilman]

Actually, Twitter is the Land of Wide Open Crazy. Facebook is just a very large (sea-sized) pond.

[firynze.livejournal.com]

I've been surprisingly insulated from the Sea of Crazy that is supposedly Twitter. Again, I think it helps that I mostly use it as a business thing...that ever-so-slight layer of anonymity/professionalism seems to hold up.

[lagilman]

Just don't start Tweeting politics. :-)

[firynze.livejournal.com]

I do believe that's what saves/protects me, yep! I occasionally sit back and watch the storms, but the closest I get to getting involved is to jump into the occasional book piracy/lending/agency fray.

Which is enough to ensure that I never ever start tweeting about unions or healthcare, for my own sanity and protection!

[barbhendee.livejournal.com]

Laura Anne, I think is an interesting dilemma for folks like you who are using Facebook in several different ways: 1) as a good way to stay in touch with real friends and 2) also as a marketing platform.

I've chatted with a few writer friends like Carrie Vaughn and Kevin J. Anderson about this, and they both use Facebook almost primarily as a marketing platform, and they have thousands of friends.

But I'm not good at that, and I often wonder how they handle the barrage of private messages. In my early days on Facebook, if I didn't know someone, I would do a check, see how many "mutual friends" the person had, and try to do a little research. I still ended up "unfriending" one nutty individual. Now, I don't accept a request from anyone I don't know. My agent isn't thrilled with that decision, but it's best for me. I think people just need to do what works best for them.

[lagilman]

When we get to the level of Carrie and/or Kev, the rules change. I suspect it's not something I'll ever have to worry about. Alas.

I currently have about 1600 'friends' on Facebook About 200 of them are people I keep on a "know in real life" list that I check every day, and there's a "family" list I chest on a regular basis. Plus a "non-person" list for publishers and whatnot. The rest... if I have time I will check out the most recent updates, but mostly not. Most of the folk who friend me as readers understand this - they'd rather have me writing than scanning Facebook. For that, I cherish them. :-)

I pretty much ignore the 'mail' function of Facebook, and don't spent much time "liking" other pages or chasing links. I do admit to playing Scrabble, but that's it.

Similar rules apply to Twitter, except I have no control over where my comments get read/retweeted, so there is, as I said, more opportunity for the crazy to come in. But there's also more PR upside, so... [also, I use twitter for news updates and wine/food stuff, too]


My 'real' life is not on-line. Even here, which is the closest to 'me' you're going to find (hence the journal's title), it's still filtered, screened, and considered before a single word goes up. This is Public Me, the same as you'd get at a convention, or in the office.

Some people refuse to use social networks at all. Other folk feel comfortable going "live sans net" on the 'net. As you say - you find what works for you.

[supertailz.livejournal.com]

It's worth adding that Joel Wagner is from the Sheriff's office in Dane County in WI, and I believe was out of uniform and protesting too. Stories like that make me hopeful for all of us.