lagilman: coffee or die (Default)
 A very weird anxiety dream last night that involved herding cats (not actual cats), mysteriously expanding workspaces, random strangers looking to me for instruction, and impossible mixups (really, IRL it could NOT have happened). Most of the time I can tease out the issue/solution from anxiety dreams/nightmares, but this one has me scratching my head and shrugging...

Meanwhile, yesterday's gloom has been replaced by blue skies again, and we're promised more throughout the holiday weekend (this is a lie, it rains ALL THE TIME in the PNW). I keep reminding myself that I took a play day on Monday, and I have deadlines to meet....

But maybe I can work on the patio? Work would totally happen on the patio, right?
lagilman: coffee or die (citron presse)
Friday night, I dreamed an incredibly detailed dream of taking a publishing-related course in Germany. I'm pleased to say that once I found the classroom (the tiny cabins filled with firewood within the hotel facade were a nice touch, brain) everything worked out well, despite a) my arriving late and b) my having about five words in German.

Also, my classmates were splendid people.

Last night's dream - getting a ride from not-quite-strangers down along a dirt road, and then getting out of the truck and perching on rocks over a steep, muddy slide down into the churning ocean water - don't fall don't fall - to get an utterly amazing shot of what I think might have been a siren watching ships go by, framed by grey rock and muted sunset.

And then I started walking back to wherever I had to go.

When my dreams linger into morning, with that much detail and vibrancy, it's time to start writing again.
lagilman: coffee or die (brain.  hurts.)
Had a dream last night that I'd met up with an old former-friend in an open-air bar somewhere (a city I was living in, but not one I recognized) and our bags were ransacked/stolen. I lost my wallet, my phone, my laptop, my keys... and my companion blamed me for it.  And when I went back to my apartment I had no way to contact the cops, so had to find one on the street.

They were, as you can imagine, less than helpful/sympathetic, though they took my report word for word.

Then I woke up, reassured myself that it was only a dream, went back to sleep, and had a dream where my laptop at least hadn't been stolen, but the hinge was broken and the screen was cracked enough to interfere with my actually working on it.

First thing I did when I finally woke up for good was check to make sure all my backups have been processing properly. I'm not sure if this is a general work-anxiety dream, or an awareness that my laptop's coming up on four years old now (which is closer to six or seven in writer-use years) and I can't afford to replace it...

either way, it was kind of terrifying.

lagilman: coffee or die (hiding)
oh my cod, people. cold-med-driven naps are disorienting enough, but cold-med-driven dreams will seriously mess you up. I was in some kind of complex, and having to deal with seriously annoying people (actual people from my past life) and trying to sort things out while we were going up and down escalators and hallways in some random manner, and my friend Barbara and I were discussing a trip to Atlantic City so we could avoid the stupidity that was going to happen that weekend,

and then all of a sudden they'd brought in an orca (yes, and no I don't know why) into this huge tank that was being unveiled, and we were in the lower hallway (or I guess an upper hallway but it felt like a lower level) where for some reason the tank wall didn't go all the way to the ceiling and when they opened the screens as the orca was being dropped into the tank, there were all sorts of creatures being dunked in there with it and someone was yelling how something had gone wrong, and then there was this HUGE shadow, and water sploshed over the side, and seaweed and something that might have been a giant squid, as well as an orca that was about 5x the size of a normal orca, except you couldn't see details just those shadows that you knew were Wrong, and then everyone got soaked in an oversplash, and suddenly I was all alone and racing out of the hallway and -

Suddenly I was in a soaking wet uniform having to stand guard as a royal family I swear made of weebles (or at least, people with tightly-stretched pale skin and no actual body movement save wobbling forward)  was presented and went into this stadium-seating auditorium (all in red velvet, same as the uniforms) to see the orca unveiled and we were supposed to stand guard but I said the hell with this and went off in search of...something, but all the inner auditorium doors were shut so you couldn't see what was happening, and nobody was around, in that "but what happened to everyone?" way, then I woke up.

And I really kind of want chocolate and a blankie, right now.  Because it doesn't sound anywhere near as unnervingly weird as it was.
lagilman: coffee or die (citron presse)
Today, as predicted, was not as productive. Unless you consider a "half hour lay down until the pain meds kick in" nap turning into a three hour snooze, productive. On the other hand, I did have a rather bizarre dream involving college, some kind of street carnival-slash-greenmarket with a little ethnic food faire on the side in a wooden maze-like roadhouse, and a Very Pressing Need to get back to campus except I'd misplaced my bag with my sneakers in it and when I got to the front where I was supposed to be leaving with people there was only an unmarked mini-van like bus pulling away on the city streets, none of my cohort and not the campus bus I was looking for.

Oh, and I was wearing a beige trench coat and had the vague sense of being Vastly Confused by Everyone, so my dream had me cosplaying Castiel? (the fictional character, not the cat)  Brain, you're weird.

So yeah, not a productive afternoon - although I did get chapter ten revised and fix a point one of my beta-readers caught. The rest of the day was given over to a 45 minute phone call to hash out a potential misunderstanding, a 30 minute vet stop (plus 15 minutes travel time), and back and forth emails with agent and editor dealing with DOGHOUSE (Gn & Tonic #3).

So, basically, today was my Saturday - a little work, a few chores, and a lot of napping.  And now I'm going to spend most of the evening watching tv and griping chatting with friends online about that tv.

I can mix one glass of wine with naproxin, right?
lagilman: coffee or die (just sayin' - Nate)
Normally my dreams are of the "ok, ok, thanks brain, I get it" sort. But last night involved, among other things, being part of an archeological SAR team (yeah, I don't know either) jumping (with a zipline, not a parachute) into France. But because I dithered about actually jumping out of the plane (until they gave me the zipline option), I ended up miles south of the target, and had to make my way back through an od mix of historical site and modern hotel.  I dodged around a wedding party set-up (including someone I knew playing in the mini-orchestra, and a small yipping dog that didn't like the music) and went through service tunnels carved of stone, before ending in a broken lader over a gorge - I could SEE the monument that was my marker in the distance, but no way to GET there.

And then someone I knew (my brain wants to say it was Steven Gould, but I can't swear to that) showed up on a side rung of the ladder an starts giving me advice.  The only part of any of this that makes sense is that yesterday I was deeply irritated by a (non)action of the current SFWA board, and Steven is running for SFWA president, so I guess that's why he showed up?  I wish I could remember if the advice he gave was any good...

(I did eventually make it to the site, but I don't remember how, or what we did once there.)

Yeah.  Brain, I'm sorry, but I've got no clue.

Woke up to last night's storm still blowing wet and fierce, and my desire to head downtown to the co-working site is very, very low.  But there is.So. Much. Work to be done....
lagilman: coffee or die (just sayin' - Nate)
Ok, usually my dreams are of the very straightforward, "here is your archetype, here is your basic dream symbolism, go fix whatever is digging at your brain."

Last night, not so much. It was set in... San Diego, maybe? The Leverage team was in it, so were a number of (now unrecalled) SoCal genrefolk. We were in a diner, and then everyone left, but someone came back to our table and stated poking around to see if we'd left anything behind, and then we were chasing after that someone (or someone else, that bit is hazy)....

The object d'chase went into an underground arcade whose escalators led into smaller an smaller tunnels, and I had claustrophobia*, so I had to find a way around when the team went into one. A stranger in the arcade pointed me to a maze of stairs and said I could connect with them at a certain place at the end of the tunnel. But that was all the direction I got, and there were a lot of exits on different levels, all with different signs (like those "downtown layout" signs showing you where the major attractions are, only these were clear plastic, and there were a lot of them - ok, more like what you'd see at an outlet mall, telling you where stores are. Except, like I said, clear and set high overhead). But I got out, eventually.

I ended up first passing through a playground and having to duck under a "end quiet zone" sign/gate and then down into the city proper, wandering around a small, slightly European-looking city In the middle of the night. It was mostly asleep, but set up for a rambling kind of carnival/street fair, and I knew that I was completely fucked in terms of finding the team again. Most of the dream, in fact, took place as I was wandering.

I finally met up with the rest of the team at a random-but-planned keyboard store that I'd been told about about when I was directed to the surface route but to the best of my knowledge, they hadn't. And yet, they were waiting for me, there.

And that, far as I remember, is when I woke up.

WTF, brain? That is neither a useful archetypal kick-in-the-ass, nor a coherent (or even surreal) plot.

*I don't
lagilman: coffee or die (Default)
First, the promo/egoboo:

1. "As much admiration as I have for Gilman’s world building and narrative style, I can’t emphasize enough how her characters always manage to sneak into my heart." All Things Urban Fantasy weighs in on DRAGON JUSTICE

2. Inside of a Dog also liked DRAGON JUSTICE! "This fourth adventure in the Paranormal Scenes Investigation series had all the thrills and adventure that is the series' trademark."

woo! And the book should start appearing on shelves next week, actual day depending on your local retailer...

The weird stuff:

3. I had a very odd dream last night, about buying an old house, possibly back in New Haven, and slowly discovering there was a possibly ghostly backstory nobody had warned me about... The odd thing was how very little anyone seemed to _care_ about the possible ghost, or the fate of the people who'd left the house so quickly, previously.

Also: what was up with there being two sets of Euro-style washers/dryers in the laundry? Plus the tenant (who I also hadn't been told about) who had to get to his apartment via the front (private) lobby?

The unlikely but hey, won't know until you try stuff:

4. If anyone was wondering what to get me for my birthday - one of these, in dark green, please. Ooo and also, la la! Yes, I live in NYC. Yes, I know it's impractical But if one must drive, drive WELL. I miss my old Audi some days.

The closing stuff:

5. We have been given a very pretty day, with just the right temps, and I have a nice combination of work and socializing to get me through to Monday. I can do this. *looks at workload* Probably.

What do you all have on tap for the weekend?
lagilman: coffee or die (brain.  hurts.)
Awake at 5am on Monday morning, after a stress dream wherein a readers' group that invited me to sit in on their meeting gave the book of mine they were reading 2/5 stars, and I discovered that that's what they had given ALL of my books...

This may be the writer's version of the "failed to study for a test" dream. Ugggggh *scrubs brain, looks for chocolate*

[to add to the stress, I was being driven to the meeting by a former lover who is, um, not always so good with the directions, and I was pretty sure we weren't going to arrive on time (we did), and we had Mei-Chan with us but she couldn't go into the meeting itself so I had to leave her outside which was another level of stress and... yeah. I was actually sort of glad to wake up, even at 5-freaking-AM.]

Also: today is a freelancer's nightmare: a Monday where you're expecting a check but there's no mail delivery so you know it ain't showing up today. Wheee?

EtA: a realization about schedule changes has made it official: Bad Monday. Possibly Very Bad Week. I'll let you know once I pry my claws out of the ceiling. Bad but potentially manageable. Just an additional unpleasant jolt to a morning that didn't need any more, thanks so fucking much...
lagilman: coffee or die (Default)
It is cold, bright, and utterly snowless. The plan is - after a breakfast of coffee and toasted cornbread, which I am gleefully consuming Right Now - to settle on the sofa and write and read and possibly nap until the Grammys come on, first to watch Bruce, second to see if I can spot a friend in the audience (hey, I've seen friends at the Emmys, so why not?) and then to continue watching as boredom levels allow.

There are not only three books working in my brain right now, but two short stories and an essay, as well. If I start to bleed from my eyes and ears, it will be no less than I deserve.

In the pre-dawn hours, I dreamed of being in an apartment not-my-own-but-familiar, watching a giant preying mantis and tiny zebras chase each other (playfully) around, with bonus! kittens, while someone showed me video of a friend on a gurney, high as a kite post-treatment (for what I don't know), and giggling madly while waving at the camera and telling the person filming not to set off the smoke alarm. The dream ended with me looking up and noting an exposed light fixture. Then I woke up

WTF, brain?

Last night, I was trying to describe to someone (a non-writer) how it feels to see another (peer-level) writer succeed:

"You're happy for them, of course, especially if you think they totally deserve it, but you're also a little grumpy and - a little voice inside your head whinges "why not me?" And then you feel bad about thinking that, and you feel bad for feeling bad about what's a perfectly naturally feeling, being proud of your own work, and then you wonder if maybe you aren't really happy for them but you are, of course, it's just that there's also this feeling that maybe there's not enough room for all of you and what if you're the one there's no room for?"

And then I stopped, looked at the other person, and said "basically, it's reasonably healthy sibling rivalry, with a dose of job-related over-introspection thrown in."

It's not accurate, not entirely, but it comes close enough. And they seemed to get it.
lagilman: coffee or die (brain.  hurts.)
Wherein a previously innocent function on my phone transported me to the back seat of Beth Massie's car - in a strip mall in a Canadian city. There was a man with her whom I knew slightly but was not Cortney Skinner. They were involved in some sort of business negotiations in the front seat of the cat when I appeared in the back.

I try desperately to make the phone take me back, but succeed only in calling some unknown number, where the person yells at me incoherently.

Wherein I get out to walk and calm down, and met Keith DeCandido in the park alongside, where he was upset at something Jean Krevor had said/done. Hrm. In Canada? Apparently, there's a convention in town? (ahhh. Must be Polaris.) When I finished talking to him, Beth and car had gone, abandoning me - and taking my cell phone, my only chance to get home.

Scene-change to the hotel where the convention is being held, wherein I wander, looking for people a) I know and b) I think can help me. In this instance, that's Arwen Rosenbaum and Peter Dougherty, although that may be because I figure a Canadian convention should be able to find those two for me...

But no. Lots of random people and a straggly-looking art show and gaming room, and a decent bar, and a few faces I know, but nobody useful. And meanwhile, without my phone I am totally cut off from...everything.

I finally think I hear Arwen's voice coming from a hotel room. But no, just someone who sounds like her...but her roommate knows who I'm talking about, and where to find them, yay! They will leave a note in my room...wait, when did I get a hotel room?

Of course, there's no guarantee they'll be able to help either, and I'm still trapped in Canada without a passport....

And then I wake up.

Brain, WTH?


Jan. 31st, 2011 06:47 am
lagilman: coffee or die (brain.  hurts.)
I tend to remember my dreams well after I wake up, and they tend to be of the "okay, I see where my sub-C was fretting, and yeah, okay...." sort, with clearly identifiable images and tropes wrapped around a core of obvious Issue or Moment. My sub-C does not like to waste time.

But this one? This one's got me slightly stumped. It doesn't seem to touch on anything that's going on either in my life or around me, nor is it referring, far as I can tell, to anything I might be dealing with or concerned about...

So maybe it's just Random Weird?

for my memory and your amusement )

Meanwhile, this looks to be a damn busy week, with two blog posts due, and a visit with the Romance Bandits on Friday, and the revision letter for THE SHATTERED VINE landing, and prep for RT Booklovers conference to do, and writing PSI #4, and.... did I mention the bathroom renovations starting this week? Oh yeah.

Oh, and a giveaway of Someone Else's Book tomorrow! Tune in to find out who...
lagilman: coffee or die (Default)
Yesterday was the first day of really feeling like I was back on the pony, post-Dublin -- 2,000 new words, reader reports sent off, tax stuff dealt with, invoices done, some pending Event Stuff dealt with, and I made it to the gym and remembered to eat three square-ish meals. More to the point, for the first time in a week, I didn't fall asleep before 11pm.

Hopefully, day-tripping Lunacon will let me from losing the pace again, next weekend.

I'm still horribly off-schedule, but it's getting better.... another few productive days and I might even feel like I've got the reins well in-hand (ah, delusions; such lovely things).

This morning, walking, I remembered bits of a dream last night that involved a photo of a man, grizzled and frowning, in old-fashioned clothing, in a forest; two young women setting up an equally old-fashioned tripod camera to take photos; a computer issue I needed to fix; an open-plan office that was being shifted around; and someone comparing my face to another person and guessing our family origins by the fleshiness of our chins (and he was right).

My brain: it doesn't make sense but it does like pizza.

Did you ever have a dream that made you, the instant of waking, think/say "okay, WTF was that??"

ETA: and this morning, for the added values of Fun, we have landscapers w/ power tools outside my office window (hello boys, I didn't miss you) and sunglare coming in through the window. *stares* Sunlight. Wow. I'd almost forgotten what it looks like...
lagilman: coffee or die (Default)
I woke up at 3am this morning from a dream that an old friend had shown up, unexpectedly but pleasurably -- and another old friend was walking around in public wearing nothing but a rather regrettable robe.

I'm not sure if this bodes well, or ill for the week.

Whichever or neither, the to-do list is prepped, the felines fed, and the coffee is waiting. Onward, upward, over that cliff!

So, who has the most bizarre/surreal/odd item on their to-do list? Step forward and fess up!
lagilman: coffee or die (citron presse)
Reminder: two more days for the puntastic book contest!

I hit the 20,000 word mark on MUSTANG, and am putting it aside until Monday, when Word War resumes. This weekend I'm focusing on PACK OF LIES -- it's past time to get that sucker into fighting shape. So of course instead this morning I get the opening line for a story that's not due until August. Damn it, brain, get with the program! (it's set in the same universe as POL, so I don't feel too bad)

the opening para )

Spent the afternoon yesterday with the World's Most Adorkable Dog, playing tug-of-war and don't-eat-that in Central Park. She was so wiped, I had to carry her the last few blocks home, and when we got there she flopped on her side with a "please don't make me move ever again" expression on her face. I could relate. Today, after an evening of recovery, I'm off to the Bronx Zoo to see somewhat larger animals. Tomorrow, back to work.

For those who enjoy hearing about other peoples' weird dreams, last night I dreamed that I was sitting outside somewhere with two other people [on a ship? On a seaside deck?] and saw first two ragged-fin dolphins, then an orca swim by, and then a polar bear rose from the water (seeing it swimming under the waves the way you do on a docu) and climbed over the side and put its arm around me to the utter amusement of my companions. Did it hug me? Eat me? I have no idea. Woke, thought 'that was weird' and then went back to sleep to dream of [among other things] walking along a long indoor walkway with cafes to get to the apartment that I was renting from my former in-laws (??) and discovering the furniture, mainly sofas and the bed, was either gone or totally rearranged. Not robbed -- just rearranged.

That was odd, even for my subconscious.
lagilman: coffee or die (Default)
Wow. I slept almost nine hours. I haven't done that in a while. Felt nice, even with the very odd dream about being at Necon only it was being held on what felt like Dartmouth's campus rather than Roger Williams, and the [huge] dorm had transportation portals so you could find the right wing, and I kept getting lost and the only familar person I saw was Kelly and... it was really weird.

Other than that, the extra sleep was nice. Of course, now my morning is running late...

And so, we come down to the question of the week: how many of you plan to watch the VP debate? I'm seriously undecided. I mean, yeah, history in the making, but sometime history is best read about after the fact. So I'll do what all good LJers do, I'll make a poll and YOU can help me decide.*

[Poll #1271014]

EtA: man, you people are going to be disappointed if there's no train wreck, aren't you?

*all poll results are non-binding and for entertainment purposes only
lagilman: coffee or die (Default)
Pandora just abandoned her Position of Disdain on the printer and came to sprawl (and purr) in my lap. And thus, peace and harmony is restored to Ch. Felidae.

Yesterday I slew most of the backlogged paperwork and household stuff, wrote a piece for the Harlequin paranormal blog, ordered groceries, and (hopefully) fixed the dishwasher. Then I slept the sleep of the dead -- including a very strange dream about getting counterfeit dollars in a casino that turned out to be very rare coins worth $$$ and having the dream turn into an SG-1 episode set in that same casino with Sam in the starring role. No, I don't know why either. But there were lots of things being shot up, running and snarking, some forensic investigations of the money leading to historical discoveries, and did I mention things being shot up? My subconscious is occasionally useful, but sometimes just weird. Anyone want to take even a vague poke at what as up with all that?

Today the work-week began in earnest. A quick walk, coffee, and at my desk by 8am. I've already polished the outline for Bonnie #2 (PACK OF LIES) and sent it off to Madame Editrix, answered a slew of overnight e-mails, requested beta-notes on two different stories, and about to start digging into the meat of the day. AiC is now in session.

Oh, and for my fellow freelancers -- 3Q estimated taxes are due on the 15th! *chorus of resigned groans*
lagilman: coffee or die (citron presse)

Daughter of the Sea, start of week 4
Still averaging about 800 words a day. No pressure, no stress, just seeing where the story goes.

"Strong Earth"

Pulled off the bookshelf for research purposes:
A NEW WORLD by Arthur Quinn
REDCOATS AND REBELS by Christopher Hibbert
IN THEIR OWN WORLDS: THE COLONIZERS, collected and edited by T.J. Stiles

You may gather from that where/when "Strong Earth' is set.

I've missed having to do period research (as opposed to place-specific or targeted-item research). The chance to just open the floodgates and let information come in is, well, fun.

I also poked around a bit with the copy for Retrievers 5, which is due back to Madame Editrix on Monday, along with a new title (the original being deemed 'not inspirational enough' and I'll spare y'all my WTF? reaction to that). Will finish that off later today, after the hike and various chores.

I also, for reasons I cannot understand, dreamed last night of two Hispanic men, one of whom was impersonating queen Elizabeth. Successfully, I might add. Also the NYC subway tunnels as they don't actually exist, and my parents' old and once very-expensive green shell chairs. Yes, all in one dream. I think. No frigging idea where the subconscious was going with that one. Anyone want to take a whack at it?
lagilman: coffee or die (hiding)
Information about a massive wet foods recall for cats (and dogs) for serious medical implications, via [ profile] debg. If you feed your fourpaws wet food, you should check this out just in case. Potential renal failure is SERIOUS stuff.

In less serious pet-related news, I dreamed last night that I adopted a samoyed puppy. I don't remember the feline reactions, but the puppy was a bundle of sweetness and made me very happy. And it all happened on some beach/shoreline town somewhere while I was out on a date, which was very strange. The setting I mean, not...well, the date was strange, too... dogs are better thn dating? Very true...

(I like dogs but don't have a dog-friendly lifestyle, so actually [intentionally] adopting one isn't going to happen.)
lagilman: coffee or die (caffeine)
Woke up around 4 this morning from a dream in which I was accomplishing much in terms of writing a really insightful, action-packed chapter, and thought to myself "I hope I remember this when I wake up." I reassured myself that I was writing it down in my dream, so it would all be there in the morning.

Yeah, even at 4am I didn't buy that either. But I went back to sleep anyway.

I still remember the dream, but not, of course, the really good shit I was actually writing in the dream. My brain hates me sometimes.

Anyone else having weird/annoying/taunting dreams, while Mercury is retrograde?
It's 11 degrees outside right now, with light snow. But the wind seems to have taken a break. We are thankful.
Things on the March-April hotlist:

revisions on THE NIGHT SERPENT
freelance editing job 1
freelance editing job 2
freelance copy assignment
write intro for a short story collection
set up book signings and promotion for BURNING BRIDGES

Right. Time to worship (I originally typed 'workshop,' which is an interesting typo) the great Fiend Caf.


lagilman: coffee or die (Default)
Laura Anne Gilman

October 2017

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