every writer needs one. Especially come deadlines.

[lagilman]

I have a new BFF. His name is Carlos. He's not Trini, Mistress of Pain, my last massage therapist in New Haven, but he's pretty damn good. And even better, he works a five minute walk from my apartment.

Forgive me, Carlos. It has been six months or more since my last session. No, I won't do that again. I promise.

Sign of a good tech: he told me what he was doing each step of the way, and why, and had me react to each step, talking through the process. I've had some techs who just treat the meat. Not Carlos. 90 minutes of seriously intense work, and amazingly, my shoulders and rib cage are fluid again... alfreda89, I don't know what his training is, but he used warming towels and did that slow-circle-under-the-scapula thing and wow. Went from carved-of-stone to agony to easy movement. I suspect I'll be bruised in the morning but dat's okay! Apparently I was right -- I was in very bad shape, and if I hadn't gone soon I probably would ended with permanent damage. Ulp.

On the plus side, my spine's in excellent shape, and my flexibility's strong, so yay.

We also worked on the glutes -- you forget that sitting on even the best office chair every day can stress your glutes, and stretching only goes so far to reduce that. My hips and legs were fine, though. He also taught me a trick to use that deal specifically with typing (as opposed to holding/grabbing movements) that will (hopefully) keep my scapula muscles from getting so bad again. And he did something to my broken toe that actually made it stop aching.

EtA: Also? I smell of peppermint. Mmmm.


One thing that has always bemused me about massage: apparently 70% of women and almost 90% of men prefer a female tech. This... I just don't get this. When I go in for a massage, even a relaxing 'spa' one, the tech is a pair of hands, an elbow, and a voice, so far as I'm concerned. So long as they can apply the proper pressure, I don't care if they're male, female, gay, straight or an omnisexual squid. And I'm a pretty modest person with definite personal space issues, generally speaking.

Anyone want to speak to their preferences/reasons?

Comments

[hilleviw.livejournal.com]

In general I prefer female medical personnel (and for me massage is definitely medical). Whether it's nature or nurture, women tend to be better listeners and better at paying attention to non-verbal cues. My body is a complicated place, and the wrong pressure in the right place can do serious and permanent damage, so it's pretty hard for me to relax unless I'm confident in someone's 1) ability to notice what's going on with me, and 2) willingness to immediately change their approach (change first, ask questions later, or I'm getting up and going home).

[lagilman]

Interesting. As per above, Carlos was definitely of the "ask and listen" variety -- most massage therapists (not of the spa variety) are. I suspect that most people don't go into/stay in that field unless they're nurturing....

(note that I exclude most day spas and all 'massage parlors' from this, and for good reason)

[hilleviw.livejournal.com]

I also tend to prefer people with some medical training in addition to massage certification; my current therapist spent 20 years as an RN and is a specialist in "relief massage" and reflexology for oncology patients. She even teaches continuing ed courses in that specialty for nurses. But as I said, my body is a complicated place, so I'm extra finicky.

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

Good people do work in spas, some when they're starting out, some who don't want the stress and overhead of their own business, and some with kids, who need regular hours filled with clients. Others just like to give Swedish massage, which is very beneficial for skin tone and health, and good for blood pressure, etc. They only want to perfect that -- they don't want other modalities.

Information For Everyone: Never, never even speak to therapists about "parlors" and licensed massage therapy in the same breath. It's an insult. In Texas we have a constant battle because the police in the big cities will swear up and down that they cannot close "massage" parlors without certain laws -- laws that can make our lives hell and/or bookkeeping a struggle and demean a valuable profession.

The day they want our fingerprints for a license is the day I start school for psychology or naturopathy. It's a bullet we dodge every few years.

Right now the "parlors" are promising Oriental massage. Not Thai massage, Shiatsu, etc. **Sigh** Cops are lazy and/or overworked. Mostly overworked, and I sympathize, but this makes our lives hell. When you have to put in your ads something like "This is massage therapy. It is a legal, beneficial health treatment. Do not come expecting a massage parlor. We will take your money for our time and call the cops", it's an uphill battle.

If you ever have a session that feels really wrong to you, and you don't have something about touch you're trying to work through -- there is always a link on the state health web site to send comments or complaints about therapists, or to see if someone has been reprimanded.

End of rant. Above, my assistant therapists, who will hug and purr for you before and sleep on you during your session, if you'll let them.

[lagilman]

alas, there are a great many of the trendy "dayspas" that seem to train/instruct their people to "go delicate" rather than give a good dig-in, because even when I ask for a deep tissue massage it's never what I get from a clinic or private practitioner....

Otherwise yes, what you said. The place where I went has in their paperwork "if you make a suggestive comment/improper advance to your therapist, we will kick your ass to the curb and keep your money."

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

My polite version on my intake form (the client signs this, and a couple other things, before they hit the table):

It is understood that any illicit or sexually suggestive remarks or advances made by me will result in immediate termination of the session, and I will be liable for payment of the scheduled appointment.

[e-booklover.livejournal.com]

As long as they are skilled in what they are doing I could care less. I have found that most American women tend to err on the gentle soothing side which is great if that is what I want at the time. However, given my stress knots usually gentle and soothing doesn't work. Not something I had to worry about while I was in South Korea. My favorite now is a very physically active woman who knows where things hurt from stress or sports and can make me feel better afterwards.

[leahbobet.livejournal.com]

I prefer male RMTs for a similar reason. They will push.

[e-booklover.livejournal.com]

Very true. Before I moved I would always request the one guy at my old spa.

[theantijoss.livejournal.com]

*is jealous!*

One of the things I miss about working for THE MAN and having a regular paycheck is getting a massage once a month. I ALWAYS wanted a dude -- primarily due to larger, often stronger hands. That being said, however, I had two massages from women, and they were just fine. So... I'm not picky, but if I had my 'druthers, I'd ask for a male. And I'm not shy or modest at all. *G*

[shana.livejournal.com]

An omnisexual squid would bother me; I don't like tentacles...

[jennetj.livejournal.com]

See, and I was thinking it would be great--all those "hands"!

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

I have a Brad Foster print on my office wall of Fingers Flanigan, a four-armed alien who is a Third Level Back Rub Master

[ex-fashioni.livejournal.com]

I definitely prefer males and that's primarily because Barb + tension equals seriously rock hard muscles with very, very deep tension. I've had some very good female techs, but they never get deep enough or hard enough for me, even when I'm practically begging.

[kalligraphy.livejournal.com]

I just generally feel more comfortable around women. Not sure why, that isn't to say I avoid men, I just prefer women. Not sure if it is just a comfort issue or what. I did have male massage therapist for while, he was really good and a friend is also a massage therapist and he has turned me to jelly a few times quite pleasantly. One of the worst experiences I have had with a massage therapist was with a female. She got a bit over zealous a few times, much to my painful regret.

[safewrite.livejournal.com]

The best massage I ever got was from a man who was a retired boxer: that should tell you something about how my shoulders get. I've had women do massages, but the men seem to know I am serious when I say I have a high pain threshold and just want to be able to distinguish muscle from bone...

Mike, my massage therapist in my new nabe (Kings Park) is made of awesome. He uses a lavender/lemongrass oil that makes me take a trip to heaven and we started with a deep tissue massage that had me looking for bruises. But it was just what my poor overtight muscles needed.

[joycemocha.livejournal.com]

I have a guy, and I like him. But he's very savvy about sports massage, and he's taken me from being tight and jumpy about the slightest pressure to being able to take intensely deep pressure (as in he uses his forearm and leans on it, and he's an ex-pro football player) without flinching.

The female massage therapists I've had aren't as effective. But they've all been day spa types, not therapeutic sports massage types.

Then again, there was something to be said for that one hot stone massage....

[autojim.livejournal.com]

Ugh. Thanks for reminding me that I'm more than a year past my last visit with Robin, who is, despite being seriously less than half my mass, able to take care of everything just ducky. She's of the ask-and-respond variety. And after a couple years of familiarity with me and my various anatomical issues, she also knows exactly where to go and what to do once she gets there.

Now, that said, I've had good ones and bad ones of both sexes. The first serious massage I ever had was a 'Nam veteran ex-Navy SEAL. He was goooood. And then he retired from that, too. I don't even bother at spas anymore -- I've had exactly one satisfactory spa massage, and that was at the Hyatt Regency Naples/Ft.Myers (that is actually in Bonita Springs) in Florida. And even then, with a therapist who listened and responded, it wasn't as good as Robin. Yes, I'm spoiled.

Now I have to see if I can spare the $ to get one last session from Robin before I move to Texas... where I'll have to find a new good one in the Houston area.

[lagilman]

you might want to tak to alfreda89 about that (finding a new one). She's a licensed massage therapist in Austin, and will probably have a few suggestions on where to look in your area (and congrats on the new job, btw!)

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

What she said... ;^)

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

We got a bunch. Let me know what you are looking for, I can find you several names.

Wait until you pick the part of town. Houston is a BIG town, and sprawling.

[neutronjockey.livejournal.com]

I prefer a masseuse with a ninja death grip that can pummel my ropey sinewy knots into butter.
Like you, I could care less who as long as they come with the skills.

[kateelliott.livejournal.com]

My Shiatsu guy is male. I started going to him because he was one of the therapists at my gym, and it took me a while to warm up to him, but now I think he is great. I will tend to gravitate to going to a female, I suppose, all else being equal, but increasingly I mostly want someone who really knows what s/he is doing, regardless of sex.

[natmerc.livejournal.com]

2nd vote here for the "best masseuse being ex-boxer".

Since I've got extreme knots, can rarely get to a masseuse, and have a high(er) pain threshold, I'd rather get a male masseuse. They can hold the pressure for the time necessary to get the knot to loosen.

That being said, I'd far rather get someone with the "knack" for knowing exactly where to put the pressure than worry about any male/female preference.

[ellen-datlow.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I've always gone to females except for the one time when I was treated to a massage in a spa. I had a guy and I admit to being uncomfortable.
Every masseuse I've had also listens to me chatter for about the first 10 minutes and the I wind down... and almost fall asleep by the end.

[lagilman]

*laugh* Spa-style massages, yeah. If I'm not sleepy and relaxed at the end, it was a waste of everyone's time. But for serious bodywork I tend to remain involved.

And when I get off the table I'm not so much sleepy/boneless as "whoa, must...rehydrate!"

Were you uncomfortable because it was a guy, or were you uncomfortable with _that_ particular guy? (I don't expect you to remember the details, don't worry, just wondering).

[ellen-datlow.livejournal.com]

My regular masseuse does all kinds of body work on me, depending on what I tell her is hurting, bothering me (and there are always those knots next to my trapezius-don't know the plural)! I always feel better after she massages me, even if it's not immediate but the next day. She sometimes using tuning forks and mixes her massage techniques. I've been going to her for several years now. She always gives me water once I meet her in the living room (she works from home).

Re: the spa massage--I'm not sure. The guy didn't talk it all and was a stranger and that might have affected my reaction. That made me too self conscious to totally relax with him. Perhaps if it didn't seem so personal yet impersonal I would have enjoyed it more.

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

The split in the business is 3 women to 1 male therapists. And although body strength can enter into it, the deepest massage there is would be...Pfrimmer, or Rolfing, probably. Intent, leverage, and knowing when to sink your weight into someone is important. Critz work can loosen up restricted joints faster than anything else I've seen, and Pfrimmer is awesome for re-hydrating. It's the most dehydrating massage I know -- I've finished off a quart of water in the car before I get home. And you must do that -- or all the toxins knocked loose in your body will make you ache that night and the next day. Trigger point is also very useful.

(90 out of 100 times, if you hurt, you didn't drink enough water.)

If I err, I want it to be on the gentle side. And I do ask constantly about pressure, until I learn someone's body. Or did -- I'm still licensed but not working right now.

When my school built their own building, they asked for a waver on the bathrooms -- they wanted three times as many seats in the female side, since that's the ratio. City said no, must be identical. So what happens? The guys run out to use the johns -- then women stand point at the doors and women use both sides until the rush dies down. If I guy needs to get in, he goes to the front of that line and as soon as the current occupants are out, he gets the private bath.

We're pragmatic people, therapists.

Probably not what the state thought would be our solution. ;

[supertailz.livejournal.com]

Here's my question; how do you find a good massage tech? Am NYC based myself and really want to find one for us but spa ones are creepy (and not that good) and I don't know how you go about finding them. In CT I just knew a bunch of people who were, but here...nosomuch?

[lagilman]

Here's my question; how do you find a good massage tech?

Personal recs are the best way to go -- ask around! You can try Citysearch and similar, but I'm always suspicious of those reviews. If you have access to Angie's List, though -- that's solid.

If all else fails, pick a few names locally and stop in to visit. If they're good, they won't mind, and will take time to give you a tour of the facilities and answer your questions. Look for certifications and diplomas displayed prominently, a good front desk system (my place in New Haven looked like a back-corner Chinese herbal shop in many ways, but it was spotless and all the technology was up-to-date).

Above all, pick a place you're comfortable with/in. I've been to high-end clinics where the massage was great but I'd never go back, because I felt like I was Client #7653, not A Person.

Where in NYC are you looking?

[handlebar605.livejournal.com]

I'd gotten a half hour massage from a woman tech at my chiropractors office (because as a "Patient of the Month" I got it for free.

A couple of years ago a woman Masseuse volunteered at Origins and as a relative local, brought a portable table. At the GAMA Trade show this past April, there was a pair of women with chairs doing massage and I got about an hour's worth in 4 different sessions.

[fakefrenchie.livejournal.com]

I don't have a preference, except that men usually have stronger hands. I have only been to physical therapists for massages prescribed (perscribed?) by my doctor for stress head aches. The women were all fairy touches and didn't get down to the knot in the muscles in my neck and shoulders. I would also like to know how you find out about good massage therapists. Physical therapists here only work by doctor's order, and I'm afraid I'll get another kind of massage all together if I go to a non-physical therapist.

[lagilman]

Ugh, yeah -- I can see that might be awkward! *winces*

Interestingly enough, I've had some women (see: Trini) who were not at all shy about digging in deep to get at the trouble, while there was at least one guy who was so afraid he was going to hurt me, he'd barely push at all, even when I told him to. I think they freak out at slighter-built women, sometimes.

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

Remind me and I'll tell you what to look for...gotta run now.

[fakefrenchie.livejournal.com]

Reminding you.

[burger-eater.livejournal.com]

Hey, who pushed that button?

Salad Eater (aka, my wife) does sports massage, and she's very, very good. One thing that makes her nuts is when people say they feel bruised the next day. That really isn't necessary, and there's a lot of modern technique that doesn't involve beating the hell out of people.

/soapbox

As for finding good recommendations, my wife recommends checking high-end athletic clubs first.

[lagilman]

Hrm. With respect to Salad Eater, I would disagree within a specific response of "feeling bruised" being related to "beating the hell out of people."

1. I -- and many other people -- bruise easily. The act of working tight muscles to any kind of effect will leave marks on my skin, no matter how adept -- I had a Master massage at Ten Thousand Waves, where they are damnfine at their job, and bruised.

2. "Feeling bruised" isn't always a bad thing, and more than "feeling sore" after a really good game/workout of (fill in the blank) is a bad thing.

Now, having black-and-blue marks wherever the tech worked? Sure, that's bad. But that's not what was being discussed, far as I could tell....

Another point --

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

If you go to a massage school to have an intern work on you, you will almost without exception get a gentle to moderate Swedish massage. It takes at least 250 hours to give a decent massage, and it helps if the students do as many practice sessions as they can before the 40+ they will do in internship (the amount at my alma mater.)

A therapist who is not trained in deep work can and will injure themselves by trying to add extra force to a Swedish massage. They can get away with it a few times, but that can lead to hand and wrist injury.

So -- go to a gym or a private therapy office (single or in groups) for anything other than Swedish, and you'll be a lot happier!

Both spas and clinics may use hot stones in their sessions -- it's great, but costs because of pep and cleanup time.

My other massage cat -- Maisie --