argh

[lagilman]

Actual conversation tonight, only slightly paraphrased.


Woman: this treatment of women in that advertising campaign bothers me.

Men: well, it doesn't bother me.

Woman: ...yeah, that's kind of missing the point of "it bothers those actually affected." What we hear is "it didn't bother me so if it bothers you that's your problem," which is a notable lack of empathy and actually listening to us.

Men: Why are you picking on me? why are you being so sensitive? Aren't we allowed to have our opinions about what affects you?

Comments

[mevennen.livejournal.com]

I really would prefer it if they just said "Actually, I don't give a shit about your problems." At least we'd know where we were and could hopefully ignore them.

[lagilman]

Yeah - and then when they go "but we're friends" I could say "friends give a fuck about what hurts the other, and you admitted that you don't" and they can deal with that, finally...

[girasole.livejournal.com]

How did you not just kill him? (She says, metaphorically but with great emphasis.)

[lagilman]

Years of practice?

[quarkwiz.livejournal.com]

(just getting here now) yeaaahhhh. YEARS. years. ::mutter::

[lagilman]

To be fair, there were two culprits on that end....

[badgermirlacca.livejournal.com]

Actually, you could use a slightly revised version of that in response to "Aren't we allowed to have our opinions about what affects you?", as in, "Certainly you can have your opinions. And since your opinion is that my feelings about things that affect me aren't important, that tells me everything I need to know about you and our former friendship."

[joycemocha.livejournal.com]

Arrggghhh. Puts me in mind of the year spent teaching the Middle School Extremely Misogynist Male Dominated Social Studies class. Every day I had discussions like this, with several young men whose parents were influential in school structures and in a small mountain community. Delicate dance with the sexist (ETA: and racist) little shits, but hey, only one parent complained. That took some doing and careful handling. Arrrggghhh. I suspect you have more forbearance than I would...these days that would bring out Annoyed Middle School Special Ed Teacher in force, with no restrictions. Arrrggghhh.

[rosefox]

why are you being so sensitive?

Why are you being so insensitive? And why do you think that's better than being sensitive?

Ugh, some people.

[deborahjross.livejournal.com]

You: No.