my self-esteem remains estimable

[lagilman]

I was walking back from an errand (buying new maps for the current book, woo map geekery!) when a man on a corner of First Avenue  asked me if I knew where there was a bike shop nearby. He had a companion, a young woman wearing a hijab, who had a nasty-looking stitched cut on her cheek. My first thought was that she'd taken a fall, and they needed to get her bike fixed. So I thought a moment, then had to say that the only bike shop I knew of had closed recently - I didn't know of any others in the area.

His response?

"Ugly whore."

I looked at him, blinked, then said "oh, nice," and walked away. And then all I could think was that his companion had earned her scar not from a fall, but his anger. Because that was not a nice man, at all.

But if he thought to upset or insult me, he failed. First of all, his attempted insult was 0-2. I may not be stunning, but I haven't broken any mirrors or scared small children recently, and my bank account can attest to the fact that I'm not selling my body for any sum whatsoever. Second, in order for an insult to have any effect, the recipient has to care about what the giver thinks, and - contrary to what this individual seemed to think of his place in the world, I give not one damn.

Fail on all accounts, Hate-Guy.

In fact, I only feel pity for him. If you are so filled with hate that you can only respond with the same? Your world is never going to get better. And I'm not going to keep you from letting me offer help to the next person who asks.

I guess the point of sharing that incident is to say: don't let the fuckwits of the world make you bitter. Let them fail, not you. You're fabulous.



(but if that scar on her face did come from him, I hereby without hesitation wish the same for him, ever-scabbing and never healing, on not his face but his taint. That seems fair.)

Comments

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

What a wretched human being he is.

[mtlawson.livejournal.com]

It takes a particularly nasty sort to respond to an honest response with a remark like that.

[doreen ann donoghue-queen (from livejournal.com)]

Wow, what an unpleasant encounter - I have to admire you for responding the way you did. I love the fact that you refused to allow his comment to shame you because you don't care what he thinks. That's an awesome perspective! Keep on thinking the way you think!!!

[spiziks.livejournal.com]

"You can call me all the names you want, but your wife will still have a bigger dick than you."

[mt-yvr.livejournal.com]

Make the bill out to Mr Spiziks, please. Yes. New keyboard and screen. Yep, he'll be covering it.

:P

[lagilman]

Amusing, but sort of missing the point of not letting that kind of crap hit home - if you respond even with a better taunt, you're saying "I need to strike out to hurt you because you affected me" rather than "yeah, no score, no goal."

[mt-yvr.livejournal.com]

And I was responding to the amusing more than the response, if you see my drift.

(shrug)

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

You did well. I have a low fuse for that sort of person, and probably would have walked up to the next cop car and pointed them out. Poor woman and her kids need out desperately so he can work on his "issues."

[lagilman]

er, what kids? An I have no idea if that woman with him was his wife or girlfriend or sister or just a friend, and certainly no idea o there was anything abusive or if my first assumption was right and she'd taken a fall off her bicycle, only that he was not a nice person to strangers so I could see him being nasty otherwise, too.

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

Which is why I wouldn't say anything. Too much imagination, and I have lived with an abusive man. But someone whose frustration would cause them to lash out at someone whose offense was "I don't know" suggests a time bomb fuse.

As I said--you did well. My introvert brain takes the long road, so I would not have said anything for fear of escalation.

[mevennen.livejournal.com]

What an asshole. And well done for your reaction.

I once got a tirade of abuse from a man in a newsagent - it became obvious that his script was in his head, not relating to anything I was saying.

[dickgloucester.livejournal.com]

Regardless of your admirable attitude towards this horrible man, I am sorry you were subjected to that abuse.

I feel very sorry for the young woman who was with him.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

What an unpleasant man: I am worried for his companion, and I hope she's safe.
And well done to you for handling this so well.