on writing: when the thrill is gone

[lagilman]

warning: sleepless incoherence follows.


Yesterday was a perfect October day -- blue skies, flaming orange and scarlet leaves (only Nature could make pale blue and orange and red go together so well), and the air was cool enough to have a bite, with a slight, refreshing breeze. Despite this, I kept myself indoors most of the day, re-reading the rough draft and marking up changes and all those other lovely things you have to do when you get through the fun part of Creating.

I only know a few writers who say -- and I believe -- that they don't mind doing revisions (self-inflicted or Voice of Editor). I don't know anyone who says it's their favorite step in the process. It lands above checking out remaindered stock and reading nasty reviews, for me, but that's about it. Creating's the thrill. Inventing and establishing, those're the fun parts. Worldbuilding and story-spinning. Quality check, not so much. But it has to be done. And while you can get other people to do it for you (see: writers groups, betas, long-suffering best-beloveds), when it comes down to it, the writer is the only person who knows what was intended.

And so that's what I've been doing. And having extreme bouts of self-doubt (this sucks oh gods this sucks I suck I need to go change my name and move to Bolivia, now) that amused my best-beloveds something dire.

But you shove through, because that's what a Professional does. A paragraph doesn't make you cringe. You finish a section and think "okay, that wasn't so bad." Or you sail through a particularly perfect line and think "damn, I wrote that? Not bad."

And sometimes around 6:30 in the morning, after you take a break for the evening and then come back to it, if you're very lucky, a little voice inside your head says "you may actually be allowed to open your e-mail without fear, after this is published..."


Not sure if I believe the voice. Not yet. But it's getting a little louder, after each pass of the manuscript.


And now, some more caffeine, and back to it.

Comments

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

I'm one of those who actually doesn't mind the revision process, since I think that's when the prose actually starts to get good. I don't like endless revision, mind you, and I loath copy-editing, but going through the completed draft that first time, and making sure that everything works... That I don't mind.

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

I tend to write 95% of the book in my head, so the first draft is--should be--mostly complete. Then the last 5% starts, and that drives me nuts. I hate the copy-edit, because I always get a copy editor who thinks they can write the book better than I did. "Did you really mean for him to do this? It doesn't sound very heroic." ARGGHH!

Sympathies, meerkat.

[vincam.livejournal.com]

I always get a copy editor who thinks they can write the book better than I did. "Did you really mean for him to do this? It doesn't sound very heroic." ARGGHH!


I think if I ever had a copyeditor question my characterization like that, I'd hunt him down and smack him sideways. I asked for and got a new copyeditor when the one I was stuck with kept questioning my research and forced phonetic spellings of dialect where I didn't want them.

Justifiable copy editor smacking....

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

I think if I ever had a copyeditor question my characterization like that, I'd hunt him down and smack him sideways.

It was only my second novel, and I'd already been through things like everything I'd done as initial caps in the first book, the copy editor changed to small case. So, in the second book in the series, I matched the first copy editor. The second one returned the small case to what I'd had originally. (The third book, I submitted a style sheet and STETed all over the place....) I'd already had to write in the chemical dictionary definition of sublimate ("Why are you using a psychology word here?")

By the time I was nearly 400 pages into the book, in the climatic scene, where the protagonist has to kill the bad guy in a hurry to keep him from choking another protagonist, the copy editor writing ("Are you sure you want him to do this? It doesn't seem very heroic.") caused me to snap. I called NY breathing fire, the assistant had my editor call me back and he calmed me down by saying, no I didn't have to change a word, the CE had gotten too much into the romantic subtext of the SF novel and my characters were much more real than what she'd been hoping for...

I didn't kill him or the CE. But I learned not to take crap off a CE, which helped a lot with the two fantasies that had dialect in them. As you can tell by my recall, it made quite an impression.

[kradical.livejournal.com]

I don't mind the revision process, but I don't especially enjoy it either. It certainly doesn't have the same rush as the initial wave of creativity that leads to the draft....

[lagilman]

Sort of my point, yeah. The "thrill" is rarely (sleigh and greeneyedkzin notwithstanding") in the revision/polishing work.

But there is a definite satisfaction in getting it as-right-as-you-can.

Urg. More caffeine.

[greeneyedkzin.livejournal.com]

Well, that first rush of getting the words down, the story down, the world built, etc. is pure chocolate.

The work of polishing, of fiddling -- that's salad.

I like both.

The work of negotiating about changes: I say that's spinach, and I'd like to say the hell with it, but I can't.

However, I DO grouse. And copy-editor with attitude is grounds for grouse. Geese. Ducks. Drakes. And all other fowl creatures.

[janni.livejournal.com]

I actually kinda do enjoy revisions as much as--sometimes more than--getting the story down the first time. Once it's down, it's sort of like I can start molding the clay, instead of pulling things out of thin air. Once I have something to work with, things slowly begin to get easier.

[lagilman]

You. Are a mutant. We have long suspected this.

[janni.livejournal.com]

Well, yes.

But given the genre, I figure this is a selling point rather than something to fret about. :-)

[kefiraahava.livejournal.com]

It doesn't suck. Three times.

Me, I actually like revising, even when I kick and scream about it. Mainly because I've been very fortunate to have you and the others in CGAG spark ideas for me in the revision process that weren't there when I was just living inside my own head putting down the first draft. But partly because I like doing the quality check stuff, too, which is weird, I know.*wry grin*

[msagara.livejournal.com]

I think the amount I hate revision depends on the speed at which the first draft was done.

I'm not by nature really fast, so that burst of initial creativity looks a lot like slow work from the outside, and I'll often do line-edits while I work, so the low-level stuff is part of the continuum. The requested revisions for those books (which are usually "explain more, add more") aren't at all bad in that case, and are often helpful -- but they tend to come from the same creative source; I have to think of ways to add that don't repeat, etc.

If I write something in a blind attack-novel burst of frenetic creativity, revision is completely different, and not so much fun, because what seemed lively and dead-on and completely sparkling at the time ... well, not so much.

Because I tend to write in the former, rather than the latter, fashion, for the most part I don't mind revisions.

[mevennen.livejournal.com]

I actually agree with the 'clay moulding' comment, although sometimes mine feels as though I've lost control of the wheel and am sitting there covered in gobs of clay.

[badgermirlacca.livejournal.com]

I think I prefer revising that first draft to actually writing the first draft. My first drafts have a tendency to be talking heads. Revision is where I can build in the nuances of description.

Of course, when there isn't time to revise properly, the ending ends up being rushed--which is a consistent weakness of mine, no matter how hard I continue to work on it.

But copyediting? Hah. You know how I feel about copyedits.

[lagilman]

post-prandial brandy!

*running like hell*

[vincam.livejournal.com]

The thing that puts me off the first draft is the fear of wandering too far off the intended plot. Some drift is more than okay, but I wouldn't want to find myself in a corner with no way out but to delete a week's work. Every once in a while I have a stroke of genius, but those usually come after first draft. About half my wordage comes after I've got the story laid out.

Subsequent drafts, though, I get to re-read what I've written, and since I haven't sent it to anyone, it's still looking good to me. I can admire the work while I'm fiddling with it and making it even better. Then, once I've tweaked it to perfection, I can send it off to Russ and it immediately becomes garbage in my mind. That's just the process for me.

Refried words...

[(Anonymous)]

An old friend who began as a painter, became a sculptor, and is now a writer described his creative process for sculpting. "The creative part is envisioning the finished piece, and mentally detailing the steps I need to take to achieve it. Actually selecting a base, constructing the armature, layering the clay? That's just work, and I'd skip that step if I could..."

I also saw an interesting interview with a mainstream novelist whose work was optioned and turned into a film. He spent time in the editing room with the director, watching as raw footage was distilled down to what would appear on screen. He was fascinated, as "The editing process is the exact analogue of rewrites, and I'm really good at rewrites!"

I don't (yet) write fiction, but I do revise stuff I write for public consumption. The first pass is for coherency: am I clearly conveying what I'm trying to describe? The second pass is for elegance: can this be said in a better fashion?

But then, for what I do, I'm my own editor, and don't get the Dread Revision Letter. My feelings might differ if I did.
______
Dennis