on writing: when the thrill is gone
Oct. 24th, 2004 07:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lagilmanwarning: sleepless incoherence follows.
Yesterday was a perfect October day -- blue skies, flaming orange and scarlet leaves (only Nature could make pale blue and orange and red go together so well), and the air was cool enough to have a bite, with a slight, refreshing breeze. Despite this, I kept myself indoors most of the day, re-reading the rough draft and marking up changes and all those other lovely things you have to do when you get through the fun part of Creating.
I only know a few writers who say -- and I believe -- that they don't mind doing revisions (self-inflicted or Voice of Editor). I don't know anyone who says it's their favorite step in the process. It lands above checking out remaindered stock and reading nasty reviews, for me, but that's about it. Creating's the thrill. Inventing and establishing, those're the fun parts. Worldbuilding and story-spinning. Quality check, not so much. But it has to be done. And while you can get other people to do it for you (see: writers groups, betas, long-suffering best-beloveds), when it comes down to it, the writer is the only person who knows what was intended.
And so that's what I've been doing. And having extreme bouts of self-doubt (this sucks oh gods this sucks I suck I need to go change my name and move to Bolivia, now) that amused my best-beloveds something dire.
But you shove through, because that's what a Professional does. A paragraph doesn't make you cringe. You finish a section and think "okay, that wasn't so bad." Or you sail through a particularly perfect line and think "damn, I wrote that? Not bad."
And sometimes around 6:30 in the morning, after you take a break for the evening and then come back to it, if you're very lucky, a little voice inside your head says "you may actually be allowed to open your e-mail without fear, after this is published..."
Not sure if I believe the voice. Not yet. But it's getting a little louder, after each pass of the manuscript.
And now, some more caffeine, and back to it.
Yesterday was a perfect October day -- blue skies, flaming orange and scarlet leaves (only Nature could make pale blue and orange and red go together so well), and the air was cool enough to have a bite, with a slight, refreshing breeze. Despite this, I kept myself indoors most of the day, re-reading the rough draft and marking up changes and all those other lovely things you have to do when you get through the fun part of Creating.
I only know a few writers who say -- and I believe -- that they don't mind doing revisions (self-inflicted or Voice of Editor). I don't know anyone who says it's their favorite step in the process. It lands above checking out remaindered stock and reading nasty reviews, for me, but that's about it. Creating's the thrill. Inventing and establishing, those're the fun parts. Worldbuilding and story-spinning. Quality check, not so much. But it has to be done. And while you can get other people to do it for you (see: writers groups, betas, long-suffering best-beloveds), when it comes down to it, the writer is the only person who knows what was intended.
And so that's what I've been doing. And having extreme bouts of self-doubt (this sucks oh gods this sucks I suck I need to go change my name and move to Bolivia, now) that amused my best-beloveds something dire.
But you shove through, because that's what a Professional does. A paragraph doesn't make you cringe. You finish a section and think "okay, that wasn't so bad." Or you sail through a particularly perfect line and think "damn, I wrote that? Not bad."
And sometimes around 6:30 in the morning, after you take a break for the evening and then come back to it, if you're very lucky, a little voice inside your head says "you may actually be allowed to open your e-mail without fear, after this is published..."
Not sure if I believe the voice. Not yet. But it's getting a little louder, after each pass of the manuscript.
And now, some more caffeine, and back to it.
