O Come, All Ye Felines....

[lagilman]

still in rough draft. Feel free to help out. :-)


O Come All Ye Feline
Purring or petulant
O come ye, O come ye to clip your claws.
Come and be nail-clipped,
For the sake of th'sofa;
O come, let us clip you,
O come, let us clip you,
O come, let us clip you,
For your own good.

O yowl, sweetest kittens,
Yowl in futile protest,
Yowl so all that hear you know your pain.
Give to me your paw without complaint;
O come, let us clip you,
O come, let us clip you,
O come, let us clip you,
Don’t you dare scratch me!

All Hail! With treats I bribe you,
On this fateful morning,
O felines! for evermore be your claws cut clean.
Household calm, no more flesh be rendering;
O come, let us clip you,
O come, let us clip you,
O come, let us clip you,
Peace is restored.

Comments

[jhetley.livejournal.com]

Sacrilege!

(Need another syllable in "O come, let us clip you" . . .)

[lagilman]

Oh yeah, 'cause I'm going to worry about being accused of sacrilege... Hrm. You think it will help sales?

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

Come can be split into 2 notes. So sayeth the vocal musician.

~*::Meow::*~

[jhetley.livejournal.com]

I'd thought maybe splitting "us" . . .

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

Yeah. After singing through it (I was not awake enough to do so earlier), Us is definitely the word to split. :)

~*::Meow::*~

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

LOL! This is excellent! :) I love it.

You should see what I've written over the years for Chanukah using Christmas carols.

~*::Meow::*~

[nick-kaufmann.livejournal.com]

I was going to write a comment, but my cat is sitting on my keyboard.

[wrenn.livejournal.com]

Shouldn't it be

"Ow!! Come let us clip you" ?

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

*like*

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

I'm so relieved it's not just me who sings to cats....

[wolfsilveroak.livejournal.com]

LOL.

I have to trim two of my cats' nails this weekend too. Towels and bandaids will be needed.

[lagilman]

my two are actually quite accepting of being mom-handled. But it's not as funny to sing "oh sit there and purr, you lumps..."

[wolfsilveroak.livejournal.com]

I will gladly trade you. After the nail trimming, mine are getting baths thanks to the neighbor's puppy sharing his fleas with Caena and her sharing them with the cats.}:/

[sorek.livejournal.com]

I don't remember if I've asked this before but have you tried those "emery cat" things (As Seen On TV)?

[lagilman]

Nope. My two get thier nails clipped on a regular basis (and take it like loves - as I said to Wrenn below, the song's not amusing if there's no complaint), and then use their scratching box as needed. Well, the scratching box and the old sofa...

[wrenn.livejournal.com]

I trained mine (thankfully all are love catnip) to get theirs trimmed FOR catnip. Started them young. I get verbalized complaints, but not much else.

[lagilman]

My two are actually loveys about having their nails clipped, teeth cleaned, etc. But it's not a funny song if they just sit there and purr...

[mtlawson.livejournal.com]

So.... Can you convert this to Latin?

an alternate last verse

[cgbookcat1.livejournal.com]

Yea, cats, we greet thee,
Clipped this tumultuous morning,
Kittens, to thee be extra tuna treats given.
Words you have yowled,
Red bite marks are now appearing.
Oh come out from under the sofa,
Oh come out from under the sofa,
Oh come out from under the sofa,
Or at least stop hissing.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

Tears. Of. Laughter.

[(Anonymous)]

This was hilarious!

FF

[deire.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, how I adore you.
Oh dear, how I adore you.
Oh dear, how I adore yoooooouuu...
Meerkat who writes.

[goddesssaint.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful! My cat will tolerate, barely, getting his claws clipped and I always reward him with a treat. Now brushing, he LOVES to be brushed. He rubs against the brush, purrs, and bumps me with his head if I have the nerve to stop brushing him.