A Month of Contests!

[lagilman]

Okay, not quite, but it may seem that way this month, since there's Stuff going on in April.

First, all week the authors included in the MIDNIGHT CRAVINGS anthology will be blogging and giving away stuff! Here's the schedule:

April 6 - Michele Hauf
April 7 - Bonnie Vanak
April 8 - Karen Whiddon
April 9 - Lori Devoti
April 10 - Anna Leonard (that would be, yes, me.)
April 11 - Vivi Anna

Stop by their blogs all week, to see what's going on! My contest will start on the 10th, and run for 48 hours. Comment on that post, and you'll be included in a drawing to win a copy of MIDNIGHT CRAVINGS, a copy of THE NIGHT SERPENT, and -- because this is me, and I know you guys -- chocolate! And none of that Hershey's or Godiva stuff, either. :-) You don't have to guess anything or write anything more than "hi!" -- all you have to do is comment.

And now for today's contest/challenge:

Yesterday, coming back from the Park, I saw something odd: someone on the 3rd floor had put a knife block -- complete with knives! -- on the ledge outside their window.

(alas, I didn't get a picture of it, being too damn tired to rummage for my camera at that point).

So. Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to establish plausibility: why was it left there? What was the reason, the purpose, the intent? Plausibility is the important thing here: make me believe it! You have 75 words, maximum. The contest will close on Friday, and the winner will be announced next Monday, at which point another contest will be announced, every Monday until BLOOD FROM STONE is released on May 4th.

Best response to this challenge as chosen by me (ties to be broken by A Celebrity Judge) will get a copy of the new mass market edition of CURSE THE DARK. And, oh what the hell -- chocolate!

[you do not have to be a LJ member to enter/win.!]

Comments

[egret17.livejournal.com]

Mmm... book and chocolate. Mmm.

The owner of said knives has been having problems with the kitties playing with knives (that'll teach said owner to have thumbed kitties) and has set the knives out on the ledge and away from the evil knife-wielding kitties while said owner builds a thumbed-kitty-proof knife containment system.

[jslinder.livejournal.com]

Junior - you can play with the Knives.. or the dog. But not both at the same time..

[ilvack.livejournal.com]

Is the window closed? If so, then the person has a visiting friend with a child who is tall enough to get to the counter where the knife block usually sits, but not tall enough to unlatch the window.

If the window is open - If the knives are facing the inside of the apartment, the family is preparing Easter dinner in advance, and ran out of counter space.

I'd put the other way, but I'm out of words.

Knives on the Ledge

[(Anonymous)]

The ledge was the last place he'd look, she thought, as she nervously set her trap. He'd never hurt her again after tonight.

Re: Knives on the Ledge

[lagilman]

hey, if you don't identify yourself, how will I get in touch with you if you've won?

Poster identified via FB. :-)

[(Anonymous)]

She grabs the knife block from the place it flew to, puts it on the windowsill, and slams the window down. Aidan is sitting on the floor, screaming, his toys bouncing around him in a furious hopscotch. Her hands are shaking. The knfe block is the biggest and most dangerous thing he's moved yet. She's read lots of childcare books, but where do you find information on handling the telekinetic terrible twos?

~~~
The Resurrectionist
http://www.opendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=D791172

knives

[(Anonymous)]

It’s obvious that this is an experiment in karma. If a bad person walks by, a 5.0 earthquake will strike or blue ice will spontaneously fall from the sky or a clumsy pigeon will roost next to it or name your own act of god that will cause the knife block to fall, showering the not-so-nice person with a rain of razor-sharp, metallic death. Moral: Be nice and be safe.

--Raina

PS--how could you not get a picture of that???

Knives

[autojim.livejournal.com]

She'd hired the chef to prepare a week's dinners, maybe get a lesson, but she wasn't prepared for his outrage upon his seeing her new (and very nice, she thought!) block of Wusthof chef's knives: "Get that f***ing piece of German crap out of my sight! Global. *THAT* is balance!"

And so she dejectedly put her new knives outside the window until the angry chef had finished. The only lesson: hire a different chef.

-- 30 --

74 words.

[benreeder.livejournal.com]

He watched from the bedroom window, camera in hand, watching people react to the knife block on the ledge. Occasionally, someone would pull out a cellphone or a camera and he'd snap a picture of them taking a picture. It was the irony that he enjoyed the most. If his agent picked it up, it’d make a great coffee table book. How many, he wondered, were going to post this on their blogs tonight?

[wyld-dandelyon.livejournal.com]

Sarah put the knives back into the chopping block for the fifth time. She turned around, and once again found all the knives scattered across the floor. Mumbling the charm to seal the kitchen in a magical circle, she jammed them back in, put them on the windowsill, and slammed the window closed while speaking the final word.
Now, finally, she could concentrate on catching that imp!

[cathiecaffey.livejournal.com]

Just across that ledge is a lake where a fisherman throws in his line thinking about how many fish he'll catch for his family's dinner tonight. He's thinking about where did he leave those knives to to prepare his fish? The last I remember was looking out to the lake...

[donnas1.livejournal.com]

Doesnt everyone keep their knives on the window ledge?

[bonniers.livejournal.com]

She's observing Passover. She thought she had purged all the hametz, but forgot the knives. They're of a design that can't be kashered and she doesn't have time for mekhirat hametz. She'd throw them out, but garbage pickup isn't until next week and she doesn't want to leave them where kids could get in them, so she puts them out of the house in a place where they should be safe until the next pickup.

[eimarra]

The last time her sister brought a new boyfriend over, he got drunk and ugly and went for the knives. The night ended in the emergency room for them, the police station for him. Now her sister's found someone knew. Maybe her judgment's gotten better, but why take chances?

[eimarra]

Er, "found someone new." That'll teach me to post without proofreading.

[isabeau.livejournal.com]

Everyone thinks I'm crazy. The critters I call flayers, they shouldn't exist. (Except they do.) And people would rather attribute the murders to a psychopathic human than sparrow-sized faeries.

But I've seen them. I know what they do.

So I leave the knives out, for them to use. Bait; flayers have tiny hands, and sharp knives are faster than hand-blades.

Bait, but also proof: the knives return with traces of blood and impossibly tiny fingerprints.

Knifeblock Dilemma

[mavis-smyth.livejournal.com]

Snatching the knifeblock , Cara opened the kitchen window and set it out on the ledge. Closing the window and titling the blind she turned to smile at Dale as he entered the kitchen. Phew, that was close! Jason's signature was clearly marked down one side of the knifeblock - Dale wouldn’t be too impressed if he saw it. That’s what she got for flirting with two TV Chefs at the same time!

[ladyvampire2u.livejournal.com]

The knifes were put out on the ledge so the housewife could resist the temptation of cutting off her hubby's tongue. She had had enough of his complaining about all the books she bought. He had his computer, she had her books. Nuff said. Or at least she thought so. Her husband's irritating voice still came from the living room and she looked longingly at the knifes not quite out of reach.

[nightdweller20.livejournal.com]

The flying spaghetti monster has been trying to get in the window, so the owner put the knives on the window ledge to warn it off, hoping the spaghetti tendrils get slashed to ribbons while trying to grab on to the ledge. I know because I went over to borrow a cup of sugar and the owner told me all about it over a cup of tea. Earl Grey is yummy.

[spiziks.livejournal.com]

Miranda glanced around the kitchen. Every bit of cold iron had been removed. It would be safe for the fairies when they arrived to take her away from this mundane world of fear and pain

A knock came at the door. Miranda moved to open it, and then her eye fell on the knife block. Shit! How could she have forgotten that? Quickly she snatched it up. Where? Where could she put it? Her eye fell on the windowsill. The knock came again. Without a thought, she shoved the block outside and slammed the window shut. Another knock, more insistent. With chilly fingers, she smoothed her dress and opened the door.

The two men in white coats on the other side gave her wide, toothy smiles. "Miranda?" one said. "I'm Dr. Peters. It's time to go."

[lagilman]

Trust the seasoned pro to totally blow the maximum word count....

[spiziks.livejournal.com]

I cite precendence! I turned in a 160K word novel for a 100K word contract, and you said I needed to trim it back to 120K words. You accepted it at 130K and later told me that you would've taken 140K.

[lagilman]

Contest rules are different from contract rules. You get to compete on the same field as everyone else, or be shut in the penalty box.

(and, anyway, that was only after your agent made a plea on your behalf)

[spiziks.livejournal.com]

(gasp!) She never told me that!

[oneminutemonkey.livejournal.com]

"You sure this will work?" She sounded dubious. I couldn't blame her.

"Absolutely, ma'am. Keep the knives outside with a line of salt across the windowsill and the window closed, and the poltergeist will be trapped outside with them." This was straight from the manual. Child’s play. Apprentice work. She did as I suggested. All was well.

Until the poltergeist in the refrigerator woke up.

And the one in the oven.

I hate New York.