some things never go away....

[lagilman]

Watching the footage of the Universal Studios fire, and a small plane flies into view -- either a news plane or a fire-control vehicle, tough to tell. Mainly because I had to get up and walk away.

I no longer flinch when planes fly low overhead. I don't feel my heart race when sirens sound too close, unexpectedly. I can even watch footage of disasters without more than the normal amount of they-are-me empathy (and likewise for movies in which NYC gets stomped on). But footage of planes flying into what I perceive as danger? So very very very no.

I suspect Therapist would say that this is normal and not to be worried about. Scars remain, and we function perfectly well around them. But it took me by surprise, as these things often do...

Comments

[martianmooncrab.livejournal.com]

I no longer flinch when planes fly low overhead

I was in a small plane crash in 76, and I still got plane issues. Its the fear of impact.

[debg.livejournal.com]

Oh, bebe. Ugh. I know - I still curl into small tight knot when I'm a passenger on a twisty high road. It took twenty years to cope with the smell of eucalyptus.

Peace out. PTSD sucks, but it does have its uses; keeping us sharp and aware. I just wish there was an easier way.

[lagilman]

Thankfully for my travel schedule, it's an observational thing, not an actional thing -- I vividly remember WHC in Chicago, stading outside in the morning on our way to find decent coffee, staring at the incoming flights to O'Hare, checking to make sure that their landing gear was down before I could breathe again...

How me-and-mine missed the rather blatant warning signs for so long is sad commentary, but Therapist took one look, pushed a button, and *wham.*



(edited, as usual, for typos)

[debg.livejournal.com]

I never did therapy - it seems that the entire accident, including holding Eve in my arms and screaming up at the cliffside for help, was something I never forgot a major detail of.

And yes, definitely situational. I'm okay driving twisty mountain roads: nervous and careful but but screaming "LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET OUT".

And manoman, I'd be amazed if you didn't have that button pushed by the plane situation. I was on the other coast and I still hold my breath.

Let me know if I can do anything. I suspect not, though.

[nick-kaufmann.livejournal.com]

Planes for me when I hear them overhead. Also unexpected fireworks. There should never be unexpected fireworks in NYC. We're all still traumatized.

[lagilman]

There should never be unexpected fireworks in NYC

*emphatic hellyeah agreement*

[handworn.livejournal.com]

Makes me think of the folk song, "Cold Missouri Waters," about smokejumpers.

[lagilman]

Might I ask why? I know about smokejumpers, having studied the career a while back for another project, but I'm not familar with the song.

[handworn.livejournal.com]

"Pick the drop zone
C-47 comes in low
Feel the tap
Upon your leg that tells you go
See the circle
Of the fire down below.
Fifteen of us dropped above the cold Missouri waters."

It's just the imagery of a plane deliberately flying into the smoke above a terrible fire that the two situations have in common, that made me think of it.

It's a great song. James Keelaghan (http://www.keelaghan.com) wrote and first performed it.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

I still tense up when I see planes coming in for landing. Every time, I'm still expecting a fireball.

[windrose.livejournal.com]

I was afraid of flying before 9/11, thanks to nearly crashing on takeoff due to clear air turbulence. I'm even more frightened now. :/

[lagilman]

Interestingly, as I said above, none of the events of 9/11 made me more or less scared of flying -- it's just a means of transport. The NYC bus scares me more. *grin*

I am reacting less to fear and more of being put in a position, again, where I can't do anything. That's terrifying.

[windrose.livejournal.com]

That has a lot to do with why I find flying so frightening, actually: I am completely at someone else's mercy. If there's a problem, there is nothing I can do except cling to the armrest of my seat and pray we have a good pilot.