getting its own post

[lagilman]

because it needs to not be overlooked.

"Don't be That Guy" by synecdochic. Although 'That Guy' was originally directed at male-guys, I propose it's possible to be a female-guy, too, no matter your sexual preferences. A primer about how to adjust your internal assumptions and external actions into being a mensch instead of a social menace.

Read it. Carefully, not skimming.

Comments

[libwitch.livejournal.com]

oh YES, you can abs managed to hit all these social menaces and be a "female-guy." I know people of both sexes this should be required reading for.

Of course, they are the ones that will read it and think it doesn't apply to them.

[debg.livejournal.com]

God, that's a brilliant post. Should be required reading.

The "dismissal" thing was the one that hit me hardest - dropping the ego and just grokking that a) I've fucked up, and b) whether I meant to upset someone or not is irrelevant; I caused a situation, take responsibility for the outcome, hard as hell to do.

[lagilman]

Yeah. Not "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "I'm sorry you think that*," but "I'm sorry that I hurt you."

Own your fuckups. Learn from them. We all need that tattooed on our eyeballs.


*or the classic "I'm sorry that you found out"

[debg.livejournal.com]

Yep. Yep yep. Yep yep yep.

[wyldemusick.livejournal.com]

I've pretty much solved the situation by giving in to my agoraphobia and my distrust of people in general and holding an attitude that amounts to "The hell with the lot of you!" Mind you, much of this is predicated also on having dealt with some extremes in human behavior that would put Ghandi off humanity.

There are some damned good people in the world. Unfortunately they're out numbered and outgunned.

[fakefrenchie.livejournal.com]

"There are some damned good people in the world. Unfortunately they're out numbered and outgunned."

Totally agree.

[mevennen.livejournal.com]

Conversation with former boss:

Me: It's not that I don't understand you on this particular issue. I do understand you. I just think you're fucking wrong.

Boss: Ah.

And then he learned. But former boss is capable of learning and a depressing number of people are not.