one last post for David

[lagilman]

I am so tired, I just put sugar in my tea (I drink my coffee with sugar, my tea without).

David Honisgberg's (dochyel) funeral was yesterday and it was a beautiful thing, if you can say that about a funeral -- full of memories, tears, and laughter. A lot of laughter, and none of it stiffled or uncomfortable. The hill where he rests has a full dose of sunlight, which he would have appreciated, and the cemetary is filled with enough odd structures and painful but lovely headstones to make me remember Peter Beagle's A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE, one of my favorite books.

As always when old and scattered friends return for an emotional event there was a lot of "oh, we must..." I suspect we won't, but I'd like to be wrong. I think David would like that. And I find myself thinking of David in the present tense -- not because I haven't accepted that he is gone, but rather because I honestly don't think he is. I very much felt his presence yesterday, and it was like his hug, all over again. I didn't always understand his actions or his decisions, but he was my friend, my rabbi, and I love him very much.

After, while others went back to the park (Alexandra's apartment being too small for the unsurprisingly large crowd), I and some friends went off to grab lunch and our own quieter memories.

And then, in a very New York moment, I decided to leave my car where it was (a PERFECT parking spot) and grabbed a ride across town to my parents' place, rather than drive across town and have to look for another spot. I'll pick the car up later today after brunch with a friend and a shiva visit, when I'm back on that side of town.

And then I will be home, and staring down the barrel of some significant deadlines. Shark on the starboard bow!

Comments

[hilleviw.livejournal.com]

My gramma died ln the night, so I am leaving shortly for a Jewish funeral for her in Los Angeles. So it's good to hear about a Jewish funeral that felt right and offered comfort. I'm very sorry for your loss.

[lagilman]

The Jewish tradition is mostly about comforting those left behind; even the mournur's kaddush is about joy as much as sorrow, and love over grief. Weird religion, Judaism. I kind of like it.

My sympathies for your loss. May your family find peace.

[girasole.livejournal.com]

Although it is never mentioned by name, the cemetery in A Fine and Private Place is Woodlawn, a few blocks from our house. Many famous and not so famous are buried there, and we often walk there in spring and summer. One of these days, perhaps, you and Keith and Terri might want to come down for a walking tour.

http://www.thewoodlawncemetery.org/

[(Anonymous)]

It was beautiful, in a stark and tragic manner. There was a sense of rightness about all of it, including the laughter producing fumbles.

The place where David was interned is between hills apparently called "Leonard Bernstein" and "Ebbets", and at the end of a path called "Nut Path". I found that quite appropriate, somehow, and I think David does, too.

And yes, David is still about. I suspect he has changed those he touched in ways they may not be aware of, and the influence will continue.

I know David had gone through a bad patch the past few years, and had been battling depression, but he recently seemed calm, centered, and optimistic. I think he had simply discovered who he was, and heeding the call and becoming a rabbi had been the final step in the journey. I can't help suspecting he was called home because he had reached that stage of his journey, and it was time to take the next step.
______
Dennis

[lagilman]

The place where David was interned is between hills apparently called "Leonard Bernstein" and "Ebbets", and at the end of a path called "Nut Path". I found that quite appropriate, somehow, and I think David does, too.

I had forgotten about that! Yes, they chose well.

[allaboutm-e.livejournal.com]

And then, in a very New York moment, I decided to leave my car where it was (a PERFECT parking spot) and grabbed a ride across town to my parents' place, rather than drive across town and have to look for another spot. I'll pick the car up later today after brunch with a friend and a shiva visit, when I'm back on that side of town.

People actually do this? I thought it was an urban myth... :: boggles ::

[lagilman]

People actually do this? I thought it was an urban myth... :: boggles ::

Well, I can only speak for myself, and this was the first time I'd ever done it. But when you find a free, convenient parking spot in a neighborood that's safe, and you won't have to move the car before you're ready to use it again? You take it. The important factor here was that I knew I'd be back in that neighborhood again the next day, and it was a convenient place for me to exit the city (bypassing a lot of traffic).

[allaboutm-e.livejournal.com]

it was a convenient place for me to exit the city (bypassing a lot of traffic).

This part definitely makes sense to me. When we did out big cross-country trip a few summers ago, we tried to always make it to the far side of any major metropolitan areas we spent the night in. :)