a fairy tale for modern girls

[lagilman]

This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little:

Once upon a time
~~~~~~~~
in a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess
~~~~~~~~
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
~~~~~~~~
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: " Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry
~~~~~~~~
and set up housekeeping in your castle
~~~~~~~~
with my mother,
~~~~~~~~
where you can prepare my meals,
~~~~~~~~
clean my clothes, bear my children,
~~~~~~~~
and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so. "
~~~~~~~~
That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sauteed frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't freakin' think so!




(via my mother)

Comments

[fakefrenchie.livejournal.com]

Eeeeeuuuuwww! Canibalistic author tendencies!

[lagilman]

oi! I'm not a frog!

Now if she had turned him back and then...well, that's either cannibalism of not-suited-for-a-family-LJ...

[kradical.livejournal.com]

Me, I'm wondering what she did with the rest of the frog............

[lagilman]

fed him to the cats?

[bevhale.livejournal.com]

Try this again now that I'm signed in. Basically on my more bloodthirsty days I'm with the princess. On my kinder and gentler days I'd have just pitched froggy back in the swamp.

[pearlformance.livejournal.com]

lol. that's a twist alright.

[jmward14.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hit the LJ reply so late on this. An earlier email on this subject appears to have fallen victim to Yahoo's end-of-the-month crack-up.
Anyway, my late writing partner Teri Smith's very funny version of this very story (revised ending and all) was published in the Prime Books anthology STRANGE PLEASURES III. I'd love to send you a copy. If you're interested, please, let me know. Thanks!
Cheers,
Jean Marie