post if you believe...

[lagilman]

from kradical


Top ten reasons why gay marriage is a baaaaaaaaaaaaaad idea.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behaviour. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans


Yes, this is satire, in case you missed whose damned-Yankee-liberal-and-basking-in-it journal this is!
Please post this in your journal if you support the idea of gay marriage.



(although I'd be more than willing to turn "marriage" over entirely to the religious function of procreation and tithing if we could have civil unions for those of us who want to have legally-sanctified, tax-benefitting, benefits-benefitting, socially-satisfying formalized partnership of two legal adults... and yes, you can argue for triads etc but let's take it one step at a time so's not to freak the neocons entirely out of the agreement, 'k?)

Comments

[sleigh.livejournal.com]

Love it!

[david-chunn.livejournal.com]

The strongly anti-gay marriage South has the highest divorce rate in the nation. The Northeast has the lowest.

Oddly enough, here in ultra-Christian Alabama, you don't need a minister or a ceremony to sanctify your good, Chrsitian marriage. All you need is two witnesses and some signed papers.

Of course, I could be wrong. Half of the people "in the know" could be wrong about this. Some officials told friends of mine who are getting married without an ordained minister to "cover all their bases" because they weren't certain. It's tough to figure these sorts of things out when you have a state constitution lined with over 700 ammendments. The info seems reliable, though.

[dancingwriter.livejournal.com]

I suspect the situation in Alabama is like that here in Georgia, where there are lots of little tiny churches whose pastors are simply "called," even though they have never been (and probably never will be) ordained. For this reason, ordination is not required to perform a marriage--it is only necessary that the couple being married regard the officiant as their pastor, that there are witnesses present, and that the required legal paperwork is filled out and submitted. Frankly, I think this is how it ought to be in every state. Government has no business meddling in marriage, which is essentially just a contract between two consenting adults. If the parties to a contract also choose to regard the marriage as a religious matter, then that's even more of a reason for government to stay out of marriage. It drives me insane the way some elected officials can go on and on about the "sanctity of marriage" and then try to legislate who can and cannot get married. Sorry, but once you invoke the concept of sanctity, you've moved the issue firmly into the realm of separation of church and state. (But I forget ... many of these marriage-legislators have willfully forgotten that particular cornerstone of our democracy.)