farewell the year...
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lagilman2003 has been... interesting. I've made new friends, lost others, and taken that loss as a wake-up call to renew bonds with those near and dear to me. I've realized new dreams, and learned to let old ones pass. I've watched the world self-implode, and seen it build itself up again, often seemingly simultaneously.
I've had days when even the victories were no match against the traumas, where all I could do was cry, when finding the ability to pick up and go on was very, very difficult. And I had days that were Buddhist bliss, living in the absolute moment of joy. The candle in the darkness occasionally flickered... but never went out.
2003 was the year I sold my first original novel, finding an editor who had enough belief in my work to offer a three book deal. It was the year I learned how far I was willing to play the political game, and where my stopping point was. It was also -- no coincidence -- the year I was forced to gather up courage and strength I wasn't sure I had to create a new career for myself. And in doing so, establish (or start to, anyway) an entirely new self-identity.
And 2003 was the year I dealt major health scares, for myself and my loved ones. And, with my family, faced the bogeyman in our closet -- the diagnosis that my father has Parkinson's, the disease that killed his father. It was also the year drugs designed to stay the progress of the disease came onto the market, and we've seen remarkable recovery. A gift of days and months that, gods willing, will become years.
So how do I end this year? Stronger. Maybe even a little wiser. Not sorry to see the year passing, but not cursing the luck of it, either.
I love, and am loved. I create, and am gifted with the work of others' creation. I know the sources of my strength, and cherish them. And I hope that I am a source of strength and courage to others as well.
I have no idea what 2004 is going to bring us. I'm just going to live each moment as it comes. And I hope you'll all be with me when we come to the close of the year-to-come, stronger and wiser and lifting our faces to the new day.
Farewell the year.
I've had days when even the victories were no match against the traumas, where all I could do was cry, when finding the ability to pick up and go on was very, very difficult. And I had days that were Buddhist bliss, living in the absolute moment of joy. The candle in the darkness occasionally flickered... but never went out.
2003 was the year I sold my first original novel, finding an editor who had enough belief in my work to offer a three book deal. It was the year I learned how far I was willing to play the political game, and where my stopping point was. It was also -- no coincidence -- the year I was forced to gather up courage and strength I wasn't sure I had to create a new career for myself. And in doing so, establish (or start to, anyway) an entirely new self-identity.
And 2003 was the year I dealt major health scares, for myself and my loved ones. And, with my family, faced the bogeyman in our closet -- the diagnosis that my father has Parkinson's, the disease that killed his father. It was also the year drugs designed to stay the progress of the disease came onto the market, and we've seen remarkable recovery. A gift of days and months that, gods willing, will become years.
So how do I end this year? Stronger. Maybe even a little wiser. Not sorry to see the year passing, but not cursing the luck of it, either.
I love, and am loved. I create, and am gifted with the work of others' creation. I know the sources of my strength, and cherish them. And I hope that I am a source of strength and courage to others as well.
I have no idea what 2004 is going to bring us. I'm just going to live each moment as it comes. And I hope you'll all be with me when we come to the close of the year-to-come, stronger and wiser and lifting our faces to the new day.
Farewell the year.
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goddess bless us every one
Date: 2003-12-31 12:34 pm (UTC)Turning toward the sun, I remain, Girasole
no subject
Date: 2003-12-31 01:26 pm (UTC)Amen.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-31 05:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 09:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-02 08:50 am (UTC)