Thanks, Julie. If 'thanks' is really the word I want...

[lagilman]

In which juliefortune makes me cringe, cry, cackle madly, and bleed from my eyes and ears, all with one post...

Comments

[neadods.livejournal.com]

I wondered if anyone was going to pass that around to the pros. I never made it past paragraph 3 in the bio, how about you?

[lagilman]

Please. I never made it past the excerpts.

There are only so many moments in a life. I'm not giving that... individual any of what's left in mine.

*shudder*

Julie's an evil woman. But then, I've known that for years.

[neutronjockey.livejournal.com]

So Nea... how much to review that one? Or would there be no amount of money that would overcome the hospital bill for auto-asphyxiation---- can't take it anymore, must choke myself...
-=Jeff=-

[neadods.livejournal.com]

how much to review that one?

$1000 a printed page (of hers, not mine) and like always, I get to say *exactly* what I think.

fuel to the fire

[neutronjockey.livejournal.com]

A linkie (http://www.pulseweekly.com/article_read.asp?id=2234) with an interview with said would be author. Apparently if you can't get published by a reputable house it's par for course to pose in your underwear. *sigh* I'm screwed.
-=Jeff=-

Re: fuel to the fire

[barbara-ferrenz.livejournal.com]

She writes by a roaring fire? I thought she wrote in a field listening to the whispering of the drums.

Becky and I read this together. We'll be committing suicide right after dinner.

Re: fuel to the fire

[neutronjockey.livejournal.com]

Before you do read the comments below that interview---you should at least die laughing.
-=Jeff=-

Re: fuel to the fire

[barbara-ferrenz.livejournal.com]

They sound like her bio.

Re: fuel to the fire

[neutronjockey.livejournal.com]

I saw one, one sensible comment out of all 7o-something posts. I'm not sure that it should scare me knowing she has a fan-club; or are they stalkers---ahh who can tell these days?!
-=Jeff=-

Re: fuel to the fire

[neutronjockey.livejournal.com]

Oh my god... I just realized that there was a merchandise link on her web-site...must find my credit card NOW!
-=Jeff=-

Re: fuel to the fire

[neadods.livejournal.com]

If only the drums would whisper that she should throw the manuscript into the roaring fire...

Re: fuel to the fire

[barbara-ferrenz.livejournal.com]

I'm still trying to figure out how drums whisper.

Re: fuel to the fire

[neadods.livejournal.com]

Presumably she means "in the distance" but it certainly gives the idea that there's some wood and leather contraption following her around, muttering "redrum! redrum!" A red drum, perhaps?

Re: fuel to the fire

[neutronjockey.livejournal.com]

I can't leave this one alone...
Picking our Visionary Angel apart. (http://www.livejournal.com/users/neutronjockey/17691.html#cutid1)
-=Jeff=-

Re: fuel to the fire

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was *cruel* of you, just cruel. Clearly neither her mother nor her editor ever warned her about photos like this....

[mr-zeugma.livejournal.com]

Oh, I dunno, she sounds like she's perfect. You people are just soooooooo jealous.

[eeknight.livejournal.com]

"Her favorite place to write is in the middle of a field surrounded by majestic mountains and the sounds of the Cherokee drums whispering upon the wind."

Damn, and I thought my daily walks into Oak Park wasted valuable writing time. This chic goes up a mountain? Do Cherokee drummers get scale?

[terri-osborne.livejournal.com]

*snarf*

*chuckle*

*fall over laughing*

Breathe. Must. Remember. To. Breathe.

That has GOT to be the most overblown thing I've read in over a decade.

Thank you. I needed that today. :)

[jennifer-dunne.livejournal.com]

I stalled at the opening description of the book. Can you, can I possess true power? This is a question that flashes in everyone’s mind at one point or another.

Uh, no, never flashed into my mind. Sorry. Guess there's no need for me to get this book. :-)

[booraven22.livejournal.com]

O_O

OH EMM GEE.
** Uses Obligatory "Bitch, Please" icon to register sheer WTF ness***

I think I just broke my sarcastic retort generator.

**fumbles for batteries**

[windrose.livejournal.com]

::scrubs brain with wire brush:: Jebus crispy, and I thought I was feeling queasy before I looked at that.

[greeneyedkzin.livejournal.com]

She's made herself her own MarySue.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

In her "real" life too, which is impressive. I'm sure that thousands of teenyboppers want to know how to live the dream.

[lizbetann]

...she has recently completed her first book in a series of five. The screenplay counterpart is about to be born.

*Never* the right answer. *Never*. Oh, my eyes, my eyes...

[liuseth.livejournal.com]

It certainly made me feel better about my attempts at writing fiction. lol

{shakes head in bemusement} The scary thing is i used to know a person very similar to her.

[neutronjockey.livejournal.com]

I will never refer to myself as being a pompous a$$-- never again! I made it through the bio and the free excerpt; although I might pay two dollars to have it removed. Best line ever: Reaching the back door of the club the palm of my hand longs for the knob. Nya-Ha! Nya-hahahaha! I'm hungry now, think I'll have a bowl of done material with a side of trite, followed by hackneyed and a glass of commonplace. Anyone?
-=Jeff=-

[deire.livejournal.com]

I read the bio and the excerpt. I both simultaneously feel better about my own writing and have an urge to scream, "Stop her before she writes again!" Somebody spent trees on that drek?

I like "Bring It On".

[lagilman]

I like "Bring It On".


Sheesh, hide the kudos, willya? *grin* Thanks. I'm fond of it, too.

[deire.livejournal.com]

Oops, didn't mean to hide the kudos!

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

I confess. I scanned, as in the old sense of the word--one big, damn rush.

Life is too short. Please tell me this is another gag (joke, that is...I know it's the other form of gag.)