We provide... Leverage. (a Convention Guest's Promise)

[lagilman]

I will be a Guest at Anachrocon this weekend, and there’s something I want everyone there to know.

I may look about as tough as a toasted corn muffin, but I lived and worked in NYC for two decades. I take no shit, and I give no shits. If you are at the convention and feel unsafe or harassed, you can walk straight up to me, no matter who else I'm talking to, and tell me you need Leverage (term in this usage suggested by the awesome Seanan McGuire).

I will listen to you.
I will be your safe space.
I will walk you to the nearest security person you feel comfortable with, and stay with you until you're ok.
I will follow-up on what I know.

And if your harasser tries to interfere, I will, within the limits of our personal safety, be the blockade needed to get you to safety. And I will not hesitate to call down the rage of heaven (aka convention and hotel security) if I think it is warranted.

With luck and the better angels of human nature, this will never be needed, there or at any convention going forward. But if it is, you have Leverage.

Comments

[badgermirlacca.livejournal.com]

*wild applause*

(also: Corn muffin? Not so damn much, Gilman.)

[lagilman]

I keep the teeth and claws hidden until they're needed.

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

. . . you do? :-)

[madrobins]

You are my hero.

And I've seen you in Wrath of Heaven mode. If I were a harasser I just... wouldn't, that's all. Which would be a very fine thing.

[neonhummingbird.livejournal.com]

This is good.=, I love this. I will,in fact, repeat this pledge for myself for WorldCon, because it is genius, and also, very kind.

[livejournal.livejournal.com]

Hello! Your entry got to top-25 of the most popular entries in LiveJournal!
Learn more about LiveJournal Ratings in FAQ (https://www.dreamwidth.org/support/faqbrowse?faqid=303).

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

+1 +1 +1 +1 +1

Yes.

[allaboutm-e.livejournal.com]

Admirably and clearly stated. I take this pledge as well.

[mt-yvr.livejournal.com]

Absolutely the person I'd want on my side of things.

[jesskastar.livejournal.com]

This is one of the many reasons you are awesome. ^^

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Applauds.

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

Linked and co-signed on my blog.

You reminded me of the Backup Project (http://backupribbonproject.com/), which is similar but with ribbons. I never remember to get or wear one of those things, though.

[lagilman]

Part of my hesitation with ribbons is related to my comment below - yes, it's important that there be a visual reminder, both to victims AND to potential abusers, that this abusive behavior is not acceptable to the community, but too many people who find themselves in this position are hesitant to make a fuss (it's their headspace, I'm not going to judge). Also, seeing a person 'run for help' is satisfying to some abusers - "look what I made you do, you showed weakness." FTS. We need to make unobtrusive exit points available for them, too.

follow-up comment

[lagilman]

One problem of the people who feel uncomfortable or harassed don't want a fuss. They don't want the person making them feel uncomfortable to know that they succeeded. They just want it to STOP, without giving their harasser any victory whatsoever.

Ideally, an unmarked resource looks like a casual greeting, a "hi how are ya?" that then creates the barrier needed, and can remove the person from harm without making the unwanted fuss. Then, the individual can decide what they want to do, removed from the source of stress.

(marked safe spaces and safe-badged people are essential, but they're not the only answer.)

Re: follow-up comment

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

I see your point. The virtue of the ribbons, of course, is that the person who has been harassed doesn't have to remember who has pledged to offer help: they can see it right there in front of them. (I know I'm not going to remember everyone who has commented or will comment on your post here.) And the more people who wear the ribbons, the less approaching one of them looks like a run for help, and the more it looks like you might just be saying hi for reasons unrelated to the ribbon.

. . . but as I said, that also depends on the ribbon-wearers to remember to have the damn things on, which I never do. So I think both approaches are good, and should exist simultaneously.

Re: follow-up comment

[lagilman]

Seanan's original idea, which I hope she runs with, was to have ribbons that said the same, that the bearer would be a safe haven for any/all needs.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this!
Stealing, reposting, etc, with credit.

Inspired

[gimster.livejournal.com]

I would really like to talk to you. You have inspired me to do something similar at local cons. I agree with your ideas about it being as low key as possible. And is comfortable to access as possible. I think there's some things to talk about. What's a good way to get ahold of you to actually talk things out

RE: Inspired

[gimster.livejournal.com]

Email is gimster77atgmail forgive me for putting it in oddly. Just trying to keep the spam down.

Re: Inspired

[lagilman]

reaching me via my website mail is usually best - lag-at-lauraannegilman-dot-net.

RE: Re: Inspired

[gimster.livejournal.com]

Did you get my email?

Re: Re: Inspired

[lagilman]

...I did not. Let me go check the spam filter.

Re: Re: Inspired

[lagilman]

Nope, nothing there. Resend?

[dawnwolf.livejournal.com]

Followed you here from @matociquala. I think I love you -- and I have made this same pledge on my Facebook page for cons where I'm a member.

Thank you for saying it all so well!