In Which I Am Awful...

[lagilman]

Off an article about finding cannabis residue in Shakespeare's (house) pipes, there was a call for relevant/related puns. I ...did not pun. I did something possibly worse.

Sonnet 139, the first draft

O, call not me to justify the bong
That thy unkindness offers me to smoke;
Pack me not dimebag trash but a gift more strong;
Use power with power and slay me not by toke.
Tell me thou buyest elsewhere, else in my sight,
Dear heart, forbear to claim thou art too broke:
What need'st thou wound with cunning when thy might
Is more than my o'er-press’d habit can bide?
Let me excuse thee: ah! my need well knows
Those tasty snacks have been mine enemies…

*loses all forward motion, orders a pizza instead.*

Comments

[badgermirlacca.livejournal.com]

You. Have. No. Shame.

[lagilman]

You've known me since I was TWENTY. TWO.

Stop pretending any of this comes as a shock.

:-P

[badgermirlacca.livejournal.com]

Gawd I feel old...

[lagilman]

What? I'm only 33 now.

(shhhhh work with me here...)

[badgermirlacca.livejournal.com]

Well, I was going to say: that would be, oh, three years, right?

[lagilman]

I'm actually rather pleased with myself, as the last line turns on a dual hinge, both the spoofer giving it up as a bad job, and the 'speaker' wandering off in a pot-fueled distraction... and I did not intend/realize that until after I'd posted it.