old friends

[lagilman]

If you were online in SF-social areas today, you know that Jay Lake lost his six+ year standoff with cancer.  I've been trying to come up with a blog post that would be meaningful, would say something about Jay and his impact on so many lives, those of us who knew him, and those who only knew his words. But everything feels trite, and I said my farewells to him already, before the fact.  The immense exhaustion he - and his family - felt at the end, I can only imagine, and sympathize with. But Jay would not give an inch until death took the mile.

Two things I'll always remember about Jay: 1) the slyly gleeful look on his face before he dropped a bon mot into the conversation, and 2) the advice he gave when I was stressing about a new, risky project - "fuck that, just do it."

Joy and determination. Two pretty good legacies to leave, I think.



(Jay was militant about not believing in god, or any 'afterlife' he didn't have decent evidence for, and so I'd ask that anyone commenting here refrain from even the most heartfelt of heavenly/better place platitudes. It feels disrespectful, somehow, to me.) 

Comments

[janetl.livejournal.com]

He touched so many people. I think that this blog post about getting his head shaved before one of his series of chemo has the best pictures of him, ever -- http://jaylake.livejournal.com/2085560.html?page=1#comments

He did get a hat to keep that shaved head warm: http://twitpic.com/1b1p64

[ckd]

Dammit.

I was holding it together until I saw those pictures.

(Not blaming you; I'd rather feel the feelings than not.)

I never even met him, but I know so many people who knew him well that I got a certain amount of secondhand Jay that way. (And I just did the one concrete thing I can do right now, which is send some money to the Clayton Fund in Jay's honor.)

[fakefrenchie.livejournal.com]

Good Luck, Laura Anne!!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/tesserae_/]

I am sorry you've lost your friend. He was an outsize presence here on lj - I can't imagine how remarkable it would have been to call him a friend.

My sympathies to everyone who will miss him...

[paulliver.livejournal.com]

I remember Jay fondly. He used to give me rides to a critique group, and was one of the first editors to publish me. I haven't seen him in ten years, but he was a stand up guy.

[camille-is-here.livejournal.com]

I had, somehow, gotten out of the habit of expecting this news. Terribly sad.