For those of you not on Twitter...

[lagilman]

I just...yeah. What?

http://www.televictim.com/christianporn.html

EtA: NSFW, probably.


Go forth, my children, and snark. I expect to wake to much WTF.

(also, that a few of you have been struck blind)

Comments

[jhetley.livejournal.com]

I, myself, wonder how people find these things . . .

[lagilman]

I, myself, have an evil twinling (fashionista_35) who points me at them.

[cepetit.myopenid.com (from livejournal.com)]

Well, JC did hang around with twelve guys and a hooker, so...

It could, I suppose, be worse. It could be Old Testament porn. I can just see the ads posted in the Temple for the necessary extras to film the Song of Solomon...

[lagilman]

ah, but this site says porn is Christian only if it's between a man and his lawful wife. No orgies, no MFF, and certainly not MMF.

And, once presumes, no masturbation, anal sex, or any other "deviation" from baby-making.


Hrm. That raises the question - do they use birth control?

[cepetit.myopenid.com (from livejournal.com)]

They have to if they film in Los Angeles County or Clark County, Nevada (Las Vegas) -- it's the law.

[natmerc.livejournal.com]

But... if they're filming solely during the attempts at procreation, are they using the family method and only doing so a few days a month, then taking a break?

The logistics and financial restrictions are weird too. Maybe they just rush the shot? (I refuse to delete the last sentence.)

[damiana-swan.livejournal.com]

Actually, it says that if adultery is involved, they make it clear that the adulterers are "punished".

I'm guessing that involves being tied up and whipped, or something?

[elsceetaria.livejournal.com]

Wow. . . just wow.

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

Think of it this way: those who started this make up another contingent of people who may say "Sen. Santorum? Trying to ban porn won't work." Maybe. (This is a serious answer.)

But yeah: huh? Also, didn't Larry Flynt consider devoting Hustler to Bible-themed porn? I remember that touched on in The People Vs. Larry Flynt, but of course I have no way to know if that really happened or, if did, how serious Flynt was about it.

[badgermirlacca.livejournal.com]

I so got nothin'...

except somebody ought to sign Santorum up for this.

[threeoutside.livejournal.com]

I can't believe this isn't a spoof.

[lagilman]

I strongly suspect it is (mainly because the site design is so OMGWTF horrible, rather than the ideas themselves) but shhh, don't ruin the fun!

[natmerc.livejournal.com]

It's the little pics of flames with text on top that got me. I stared at them for a while, not really believing they were there.

My eyes were burning a bit, but the descriptions of the couples were very funny.

Problem is -- I'd almost rather believe it's a spoof, but humans are just so weird it could be true.

[phantomminuet.livejournal.com]

Me, too, especially after I noticed the Televictim copyright at the bottom.

[irismoonlight.livejournal.com]

... much, much, MUCH W.T.F.

That's... there are no words. Well, yes, there are words, but they're colorful in a non-Christianporn kinda way. *wanders off to self-medicate with chocolate*

[cailleuch.livejournal.com]

I just sit here shaking my head. So much .... WTF!

[mtlawson.livejournal.com]

Um, is this workplace friendly?

(Why yes, I'm working. Don't ask; I have no freaking idea why I'm doing it now myself.)

[lagilman]

Really not workfriendly, although probably nothing that would send censors slamming down on the home page...

(the site is as advertised by the url)

[http://users.livejournal.com/tesserae_/]

That has *got* to be satire. I mean, O Come All Ye Faithful?

Round Yon Virgin?

I just wonder if they've managed to get a button on the Christian Mingle site...

[lagilman]

You've never taken a wander through the X rated section of the local video place, have you? Porn's punny. Especially when they're spoofing off something already existing (see: Robin William's routine about the porn movies made spoofing his movies...)

But yeah. I'm betting (hoping) it's a joke. Still. Maybe it's not. People, as was said upstream, is weird.

[http://users.livejournal.com/tesserae_/]

I know porn's punny; I have a couple of friends in that industry. My take was that it was a little too aware of the tropes...

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Did you have to?

[lagilman]

what, did I hold a gun to your head an make you look? Sheesh.

And of course I didn't HAVE to. But why should I suffer the holyfuckWHAT?s alone?

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

You are Bad. It's part of why we love you. :-)

[viverra-libro.livejournal.com]

Ok, I think it's kind of sweet, actually. I mean, lots of christians seem to be hung up about sex due to religious beliefs, so if they can get some help, that's cool. It seems less off-the-wall than the christian fisting site, for what it's worth.

I guess the thing that's kind of mind-boggling is that they're not cool with just regular porn, but maybe people do feel guilty about it, even though they shouldn't need to.

[viverra-libro.livejournal.com]

So, I, being a goofball, wondered if the porn was for sale on the website, and clicked around. It appears that there is no porn to purchase, either on that website or anywhere else. Instead, they sell humorous t-shirts and clocks with christian themes as well as other funny sayings. Since you can't actually buy the porn, I think it has to be fake -- surely if it were real, there would be a way to actually purchase the product!

[divanoir.livejournal.com]

Please tell me that is a joke site.