you people

[lagilman]

Amusing conversation this week:

G: "Your friends, they're not all writers."
Me: "Oh gods, no."
G: "They don't all work in publishing."
Me: "Nope."
G: "So how did you all meet?"
Me: "Conventions. On-line. Friends-of-friends. Met in the subway. Y'know, the usual."

Except, I realized, it isn't the usual. Not for adults, anyway. We tend to meet people via work, and shared hobbies, and specific social interactions (religious groups, little league, etc). The way my RL friendslist grows, it's more "hey you sound interesting" cris-crossing and hop-scotching.

I mentioned this at dinner Friday night - noting how I had met most of the people there by wandering around a party years ago and talking to whoever, well, sounded interesting. Other friends at that same party had stuck to their usual clique all night, never seeming to even notice there were strangers to meet.

I'm sure that circle works for them. But me? I like my cris-crossing hop-scotching hodgepodge of a FL. Meat and Virtual.

*hugs all of you, in a non-intrusive way*

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

My local friends are mostly people I or the beloved was at college with, or people met through the latter. Then there are the people I know from the con circuit... I'm another oddity, I guess.

[lagilman]

Actually, I think that's more the usual - people you meet via school, or work. Friends-of-friends-who-become-friends used to be more unusual but I suspect the rise of social media's making it more common (yay!).

It's the "you, with whom I have nothing in common at first sight but sound interesting" phenom that seems to be less usual. Or maybe it's a writer thing, looking for external input to steal borrow from?

[mtlawson.livejournal.com]

Thanks. (I'd probably classify more as a hanger-on, but I'll take it.)

I have more virtual friends than ones in my immediate vicinity, which isn't too great a surprise given my interests and where I live. But I've found over the years that virtual friends are just as good as the ones physically nearby.

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

::HUGS back::

That's unusual?

[jimhines.livejournal.com]

"I had met most of the people there by wandering around a party years ago and talking to whoever, well, sounded interesting."

Someday I would love to learn how to do that...

[brownkitty.livejournal.com]

It helps if you realize that people think you're interesting too.

This, by the way, is a box wrapped in brightly-colored clue paper with a gigantic clue bow on top addressed to "Jim Hines, Interesting Person." ;) Unfortunately, it does not contain animation of the movie Clue done in stop-motion Lego figurines.

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, it does not contain animation of the movie Clue done in stop-motion Lego figurines.

It is unforunate because that would be exceedingly awesome!

Also, your icon amuses the hell out of me :)

~*::Meow::*~

[jimhines.livejournal.com]

I would so watch that movie!

It's ... hm. It would be easy to blame this on introversion, but that's not really it. I can be "on" at conventions for example, and I feel pretty confident in my ability to be interesting and chat with folks.

But the larger the group, the quieter I tend to get, especially in a party setting. I don't know that it's a lack of confidence in how completely fascinating I am. But most parties ... it's too much. Call it overstimulation, maybe? It squishes that part of the brain that lets me be brilliantly charming in smaller groups ;-)

Oddly enough, I have zero problem being on at panels, even with a big audience. But that's a different dynamic.

The more I think about this, the more I wonder if it should be its own blog post...

[mtlawson.livejournal.com]

Blog it, Jim.

As you know, introversion != shyness.

[lagilman]

Someday I would love to learn how to do that...

1. be easily bored by conversations you've heard/participated in before

2. have the distractability of a butterfly in a new-blooming garden

3. Flitter-flutter to the most interesting sounding flowers and shamelessly eavesdrop.

4. Perk up at the worst possible moment, so people remember you, even if you may not remember them later.


See? Easy!

[badgermirlacca.livejournal.com]

Wait, I thought you were Laura Anne. When did you turn into Dori?

[bonnie-rocks.livejournal.com]

I constantly step outside the "comfort zone' at parties and meet people I have never met and gain new friendships. I was never one to stay with the clique. Even back in High Schol. Sure, I had my core group of friends, but I always went out of my way to meet new and interesting people when going to parties.

~*::Meow::*~

[ubiquitous-a.livejournal.com]

Such online hopscotching is what brought me to your LJ actually. I must admit, I've not read any of your books (yet), but I friended you because I find what you have to say here interesting.

[lagilman]

I must admit, I've not read any of your books (yet

*keels over in shock, dismay, and outrage*




(oh, ok, not really)

[mtlawson.livejournal.com]

Heh. That's how I started out here, too.

[ubiquitous-a.livejournal.com]

*goes to get the smelling salts*

[controuble.livejournal.com]

I think I arrived at your LJ via the friend-of-a-friend route, but it was interesting and I went and read your books and stayed. We sort of met IRL at DragonCon last year - I was working for the folks across the aisle from your signing. You should come to WorldCon in Chicago next year - I will be running the art show :)

[lagilman]

you should come to WorldCon in Chicago next year - I will be running the art show :)

*sigh* You've been talking to the East Coast Art Show Mafia, haven't you?

[ex-fashioni.livejournal.com]

Making friends online has allowed me the ability to criss-cross and leave my corner of the room in a relatively safe way (since I clearly got the painfully shy gene of the two of us...)

But it has broadened my sphere of friends considerably, as I've made efforts to meet as many in Meat Space as I can.

Now dancing seems to be opening things up a bit further. Who knew?

[ubiquitous-a.livejournal.com]

Okay, "meat space" is now my new favorite term. ;p

[firynze.livejournal.com]

I quite like that hodgepodge meself. I meet far more interesting people by doing the hopscotching than by sticking within one insular little group...

Hell, that's how I ended up in a croquet league.

[mevennen.livejournal.com]

I have made friends at parties by going up and saying 'I hope I'm not being intrusive, but I don't know anyone here - do you mind if I talk to you?" It's worked so far, but although I was shy as a teenager, teaching knocked it out of me and I will now talk to pretty much anyone (even the Tube. They probably think I'm a nut).

[lagilman]

I'm still pretty shy, which is why I hover and lurk at first, like a stray cat waiting to see if there are treats....

[baka-kit.livejournal.com]

I wish I had the confidence to do that.

[lagilman]

All it takes is the willingness to be shot down/ignored occasionally. Kind of like training for a writing career....

[neadods.livejournal.com]

At this point I can safely say that I met 100% of the people I know via some form of fandom. (Not just SF fandom). Since I threw in with the rennies the balance of people met in "real" life vs people met online has evened out, though.