if you could see what I see...

[lagilman]

My name is suri. I am a survivor of sexual violence.
no pity. no shame. no silence



a later comment....

This came up on another LJ, and I thought it was important enough to add here as well. I've never wanted pity. Pity implies an "oh dear thing, how horrible" tone. Pity is the poor relation to empathy and sympathy, the two things that can be helpful to someone who is in pain.

I, personally, don't want any of those things any more. While the physical memory of what he tried has blurred and faded over the past twenty years, the psychological scars are still with me. They've formed me, and made me react the way I do to any hint of betrayal or snubbing. All I ask of those who love me is that they remember that scar tissue, and tread gently on it, and understand why something that might seem insignificant to them can play a brutal game on my head and heart.

Mileage, obviously, can and will vary.

Comments

[editrx.livejournal.com]

I am not, but my mother was, and I watched her live in silence about it right up until her death. (And I was a victim of nonsexual violence as a child, myself, at the hands of the man who abused her.)

Thank you, suri. Thank you for coming out.

[greeneyedkzin.livejournal.com]

Respect.

[butterflykiki.livejournal.com]

I raise a glass to you and the others speaking out today.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

To jump on the bandwagon on the comments from the original post:

My name is Nea. I am a survivor of domestic violence.
No pity. No shame. No silence. ACTION!

Action indeed

[banazir.livejournal.com]

Hear, hear.

My respect and admiration to you both (among many others) for having the courage to speak out about this. Having only learned about both second-hand, I can only say that I believe it isn't easy.

Action for justice (http://www.livejournal.com/users/banazir/69686.html#cutid3) is sometimes important as a preventative.

--
Banazir

[scarlettina.livejournal.com]

First, brava to you for the courage to step forward.

Second, I'm a survivor of abuse at the hands of a boyfriend.

no pity. no shame. no silence.

And as our people say: Never again.

[alfreda89.livejournal.com]

YES!

My name is Kate. I am a survivor of domestic violence.

No pity. No shame. No silence.

Just fierce hugs (some physical, and for those who can't handle it, virtual.)

Thank you for finding this and posting it.

[splix.livejournal.com]

Hi -

Sorry to barge in on your LJ like this, but you responded to a comment I made on Misia's post, and before I got a chance to answer, she locked it down, so I thought I'd reply here. It was regarding the troll on page 7 of her post, and you're right - they should be ignored and I broke my own rule of letting them severely alone. But argh, it makes me nuts, too - it's creeps like that who point and sneer and perpetuate hateful attitudes and get away with it, and he just made me furious. I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

Anyway, I apologize once again for the intrusion, but I thought you deserved an answer.

Alex

[lagilman]

Alex,

Quite all right, all are welcome here, minus the trolls, of course.

And part of what makes them trolls (rather than just annoying idiots) is that they know what to say that you just can't not respond. It's an evil and misused gift with them.