Tuesday that feels like.. well, Tuesday.
May. 25th, 2010 08:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lagilman"If the notion is good enough, if it truly belongs to you, then you can't forget it—it will haunt you till it's written." - Truman Capote [This is both comfort and irritation when you can't carve out time to write it just yet... ]
Still working. BEA excitement starts today, but I don't hit the floor until Wednesday. Am torn between being "up" for this, and feeling like an afterthought as I see what everyone else is up to. I'm almost afraid to go to a friend's reading to see the turnout they get. And yeah, part of me knows that's silly, but it's also true. Readings can destroy the ego, especially when people say "oh we'll be there" and then you look out and it's empty... or worse, the only people there came to see the OTHER people reading. (that's one of the reasons I am hesitant to schedule signings/readings -- the person hosting expects a certain number of people to show up, and I'm proven to not be that much of a draw) Hello, self-doubt... But once I'm actually at the Center, the general enthusiasm will get me going, and I will be High Energy for my signings. This too I know from experience.
But for now, there is coffee, and a short story that has finally come open for me, and much else (less fun) that has to be dealt with....
EtA: also, apparently I am (surprise!) contrary. The more people who say "grow your hair long" the more I remember all the good things about keeping my hair short (and by short I mean 'above my shoulders."). It also amuses me how many guys are like 'grow your hair long, guys like long hair" as though that should be my main consideration -- if you decide if I'm attractive based on how long my hair is, we're not going to suit well, anyway.... hair length is subject to radical change on a whim. Attraction shouldn't be.
Still working. BEA excitement starts today, but I don't hit the floor until Wednesday. Am torn between being "up" for this, and feeling like an afterthought as I see what everyone else is up to. I'm almost afraid to go to a friend's reading to see the turnout they get. And yeah, part of me knows that's silly, but it's also true. Readings can destroy the ego, especially when people say "oh we'll be there" and then you look out and it's empty... or worse, the only people there came to see the OTHER people reading. (that's one of the reasons I am hesitant to schedule signings/readings -- the person hosting expects a certain number of people to show up, and I'm proven to not be that much of a draw) Hello, self-doubt... But once I'm actually at the Center, the general enthusiasm will get me going, and I will be High Energy for my signings. This too I know from experience.
But for now, there is coffee, and a short story that has finally come open for me, and much else (less fun) that has to be dealt with....
EtA: also, apparently I am (surprise!) contrary. The more people who say "grow your hair long" the more I remember all the good things about keeping my hair short (and by short I mean 'above my shoulders."). It also amuses me how many guys are like 'grow your hair long, guys like long hair" as though that should be my main consideration -- if you decide if I'm attractive based on how long my hair is, we're not going to suit well, anyway.... hair length is subject to radical change on a whim. Attraction shouldn't be.
