new story up!

[lagilman]

If you happen to be looking for something to read w/ your coffee? I have a new story up (free!) on BookViewCafe this morning.

It's short and, um... not sweet. Sorry, fakefrenchie!

And yes, I'd love to hear your reactions in comments. Yes, even if you hated it. Especially if it's "I hate you you made me [fill in the blank]...."

EtA: Warning: Spoilers, we haz them

Comments

[saycestsay.livejournal.com]

Didn't like the ending on first pass through. Then realized you weren't giving us a tale, you were showing a snapshot of reality told in fairy-tale terms. Okay. Still depressed :) but the truth shines through.

Oh and the writing? Nice.

[lagilman]

well, the title DOES warn you....

[lagilman]

Hrm. Would like to discuss the difference between "tale" and "snapshot," since the story covers from her arrival to her departure, with backstory given in the process... a lot more than one single moment of a snapshot, IMO...?

[rovanda.livejournal.com]

Sad, very sad. I like it though, or not exactly "like" but am glad I read. For me, it takes the fairy tale and applies it to modern questions of what do you do when there's no one to rescue you but yourself.

[severedscythe.livejournal.com]

I loved it. I absoutely adore fairytales given a new imaginging, so it really appealed to me just from the outset! And then making her so ALIEN, while still giving her space to grow in such a short story. Yes. I like your writing. .___.

[eldestmuse.livejournal.com]

I loved it, and felt really moved, but I feel like I missed some of the subtext (i.e. I feel like there's a metaphor I don't quite grasp). The ending was sad, yes but a little more bittersweet than crushingly depressing. As near as I could tell, she'd at least found happiness for a little while, and in Snow White terms, that's better than what she had before she ran away. So it's not all doom and gloom.

[lagilman]

Hrm. Why do you think you missed subtext?

[otterdance.livejournal.com]

Beautifully written! So much left unsaid to ponder, and such a sense of alienation. Very nice.

[chaoticgoodnik.livejournal.com]

I thought it was delicious.

It reminded me of (some of the stories in) the Troll's Eye View collection, which I just read.

[sorek.livejournal.com]

Why does the street have no name? i have to admit, I thought the ending was going to be different. I thought the apple was going to turn her into a vampire (yes I know it's snow white and the seven dwarfs).

[lagilman]

The street with no name is a noir reference to the movie of the same name, but also used to indicate any street in any town in any culture, rather than giving it a specific identity, just as none of the characters have a name.


a vampire? really? huh. okay, that one's new.... what suggested that to you? *is curious*

[sorek.livejournal.com]

She's snow freaking white. In addition, as someone else commented there was this sense of alien'ness and general unease between her and the dwarfs. At first I expected her to turn the dwarfs against each other (making one happy, another grumpy, etc.) and when that didn't happen I expected the apple to do something it didn't do in the story. By the way, what was with the 5 + 1 + 1 dwarfs? 5 always acted in lockstep, the sixth seemed to do or at least think something different, while the seventh kept his own counsel. Sorry my knowledge of SW is purely from the Disney movie and that was a long long LONG time ago.

[lagilman]

You're thinking Disney. I was thinking Brothers Grimm, and this is not a retelling (again: the title warned you) but a variation on the theme.


There is no specific identification with any particular dwarf (note, again, none of them are named), only that they are "small" men (emotionally, socially) who are no match for trained despair/depression.

[deire.livejournal.com]

Beautifully written. And heart-breaking.

[kiyote72.livejournal.com]

loved it...why should a prince have to save us...we should choose to save ourselves or not. it is after all our choice to do so. our life to live or not as the case may be.

[wrenn-8811.livejournal.com]

As per usual, wonderful writing, evocative and sensual.

I actually felt empathy for the young woman, I never really enjoyed the disney fairy tale, of how the prince was needed to save the woman.

I empathized with how the young woman felt she was too tall, her voice was too high.

I really enjoyed the slight views into the dwarfes.

Thanks for writing

[blitheringpooks.livejournal.com]

I thought it beautiful and, yes, the ending caught me a bit off guard, but in a good twist, tragic twist way. She recognized what she was eating... and took another bite.

Chills.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

She recognized what she was eating... and took another bite.

Yes, that gave me chills too. Enough that the ending surprised me a bit, in that what she might want to do is swallow.

[lagilman]

It gave me chills when I wrote it, too. That's how I knew I had the right ending.

[liuseth.livejournal.com]

The Disney version of Snow White I cannot stand...she's far too naive, childish and sickly sweet.

I like that you give her the knowledge of what she's eating, and yet she knowingly consumes the rest. Like so many people in the real world who embrace that which is bad for them.

Your writing as always flows beautifully. :)

Kada.

[lagilman]

You might laugh to know how damn hard this story was to write...

[morriganwind.livejournal.com]

It's lovely and something I'll have to consider and chew on awhile. However, it made me think and that's what I really like for a story to do, to take me away and give me something to consider.

[lagilman]

*melts in a puddle of Happy*

(hate it, love it, if this story made you stop and think about what was being said, then it did its job and more)

[morriganwind.livejournal.com]

I guess that's what I always wanted my writing to do after telling a good story. So you did an excellent job of meeting that goal and I'm so glad it's something you consider as well :)

[fakefrenchie.livejournal.com]

Typical of your short stories. I didn't exactly like it, but I didn't hate it either. ;-)