a probably hypothetical moral quandry

[lagilman]

or, "If I am my brother's keeper, does that mean I can charge admission?"


I have a friend. Let's call this friend George.

George has a tendency to straight shooting and straight thinking, and assumes everyone else will be glad for both being shot and being thought at.

In this imperfect world, that is not always the case.

George has had ample years and friendly warnings to learn that fact, and yet it eludes, every time.

So. Watching George about to pull those straight-shooting guns once again, am I morally obligated in any way shape or form to warn my friend that it's probably going to backfire spectacularly? Or can I sit back and watch, assured that none of the resulting splatter is going to reach me?

And if I benefit from George's cluelessness (i.e. a project George might have gotten comes to me, instead), is there real guilt (as opposed to 'poor idiot George, wish you'd learn" sort) attached?

Comments

[terri-osborne.livejournal.com]

Eh, I'd charge admission to the show, AND take the project "George" doesn't get.

But I also just got talked down from nailing someone to a wall in my own LJ for incompetent work product, so I'm probably not the best one to talk right now. ;)

[terri-osborne.livejournal.com]

But, then again, I also believe that guilt is self-inflicted. You only feel guilty if you want to feel guilty.

[ex-fashioni.livejournal.com]

I'm of the "He's been warned... repeatedly... Now, he's on his own," ilk. There comes a time where you just have to sit back and shake your head as the drama unfolds.

And again, in that "He's been warned," vein-- if the project happens to fall in your lap as a result of the cluelessness he's been (repeatedly) warned about, you've got nothing to feel guilty about.

"Poor George" sentiments are certainly okay.

Just my .02, but then again, I'm sort of mean that way.

[girasole.livejournal.com]

I would not call it a moral obligation, but if you were both walking together and he was about to step in a pile of shit, wouldn't you say, "Whoa, George, watch it!" I think you should say something. He may not listen, but he might. And the world would be a happier place for it.

[girasole.livejournal.com]

I do not agree. Some of us have guilt hard-wired. Sometimes it is from being raised Catholic, sometimes from being raised Jewish, sometimes just because.

[terri-osborne.livejournal.com]

Oh, they don't call it Big Catholic Guilt or Big Jewish Guilt for nothing.

The thing is, how much of that guilt would still be there without the religious instruction? *cue raised eyebrow*

[going-not-gone.livejournal.com]

Warn him.

Gently. Quietly. Once.

Given his past record, he probably won't get it, and he'll go ahead and be clueless anyway, and you'll get the project, but you won't have to feel guilty about it, because after all, you did warn him.

[burger-eater.livejournal.com]

If George's misbehavior is going to make a potential employer want to avoid him, and you can't get him to behave, it's probably better they find out about him as early as possible.

[lagilman]

Speaking only for the Jewish side, it's genetic.


You get it from both parents.

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

It is possible that George is not capable of learning this lesson.

This is not your fault.

And there is no guilt at all involved in his failing, yet again, to take advantage of your years of warnings.

[girasole.livejournal.com]

Who can say? My bones are Catholic, and Italian American. Guilt is part of who I am. I could not more remove it than I could the color of my eyes (grey-blue, my father's eyes, my son's eyes). In the end, it doesn't matter, it just is.

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

Heh. I've heard it called Protestant Guilt.

So there you go...

[lagilman]

Nah, Protestants don't have Guilt. They say "oh dear. Must work harder, then."


;-D

[kalligraphy.livejournal.com]

I think it would depend on how much you feel you are a friend to this person. If you aren't too friendly, then giving them enough rope to hang themselves is perfectly legitimate. If they are a good friend, well, you have to try to save them from themselves, but you can only do so much.

[kaitiana.livejournal.com]

LOL...I WISH it worked that way...Trust me, plenty of guilt from this particular Protestant...Hee! Though this comes from being a people-pleaser more than my religion...

[mt-yvr.livejournal.com]

Personally? I think this response would be middle of the road.

Simply tell George "Gee, I've had my eye on that project for a while, thanks. I could use the income." when/if the subject comes up.

Let that be the warning. And if things come back at you, remind people you were up front about your ability to get past THEIR mistakes.

(shrug)

I think people deserve warnings, but I don't think they deserve our cutting off our legs for them. If the job is there, take it if it comes to you. In a world of professionals, either you get the job or you don't. You're not going to get it because HE gave it to you, you'd get it because you're good and they trust/believe in you. He'd NOT get it because well, he'd done something they didn't want him to do.

(shrug)

But then you knew that. (lol)

[pearlformance.livejournal.com]

There's Baptist guilt alright, needing to prove to Catholics we're the equals or better than them doncha know.

Hard-wiring can be McGyvered into spraying short of sparks tho, can't it? I hold out hope.

[karenmiller.livejournal.com]

I'm with Szandara.

Tell George once what he's planning is inadvisable, and then watch and wait. If he heeds you, fine. If he ignores you, it's a mess of his own making. If you *didn't* stand to benefit from his mistake, then perhaps letting him fail would be a good lesson. Oor if you didn't know what he was planning and you got the job on that strength, there'd be no quandary.

But if you know you can benefit from someone else's actions by witholding help, or by staying silent -- I think any resulting gain isn't going to sit too well with you. You're an ethical person, don't go against your instincts.

[deire.livejournal.com]

You do not need to feel any guilt. You did your best by George (play on words not intended but oddly pleasing now), and he will do what he will do.

[debg.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear.

I am so pimping you for info on this one tomorrow night....