hammerhead: "What's your point, Klaus?"

[lagilman]

Ooo, we haven't even gotten past the credits, and there's already been two bloody in-water dismemberments, and one scientist losing a finger.



Stem cell research. How trendy.

Their idea of how a multinational drug company works is... well, I'd say idiotic but I'm not quite sure that sinks low enough.


A private swimming pool and a tanning bed. Man, the ex never told me that the pharm companies had such good perks! And, my god, her breasts are soooo fake. And not even in a friendly, "hi, I'm perky!" way.


me: "um. so, sex is supposed to make shark-boy think?" /skepticism. That seems to be the theme. "If we can get him to mate with a drugged-up human female, the shark-man who used to be his son will cease his mental degradation and become intelligent again. And then they can populate the world with smrt and vicious lawyers, er, shark-humans.


So, we have the Plucky Female Scientist Lead, Her IT Honcho Boyfriend, the Mad Scientist and his vaguely mittleuropean-accented crew, the Money-Grubbing and Amoral CEO, and his Trophy Boopsie... and the Shark-Man.

That's it. I need to go open the wine. This is NOT to be watched sober.

Comments

[eeknight.livejournal.com]

Lookin' good so far!

[eeknight.livejournal.com]

Tell me I did not just see telescopic crosshairs on an open-sights assault rifle!

[lagilman]

If you're going to get particular, what about the rifle that fired perfectly under salt water?

[eeknight.livejournal.com]

Male lead hero dude is like Gary Busey crossed with Shatner, vestigal acting ability left out.

[lagilman]

Have you noticed how, in every scene, the seven-fingered lab assistant has more and more of a hunch? We're ust waiting for him to start saying "yeth, mathter..."

[lagilman]

And, oh... tell me that the call numbers on the chopper were not 666...

[burger-eater.livejournal.com]

I have another hour and a half to wait for this to start in my time zone.

You guys are making me ache for it.

[eeknight.livejournal.com]

I like the way the helicoper just blows some crap up and then leaves.

Plus the nipple electrodes. Kinky!

And the potted palm occassionaly placed in front of the camera to convince us that this is NOT the Canadian coastline.

[lagilman]

Yeah, but I sort of like the fact that the hero is a mddle aged chair jockey with a paunch. Give me hope.


And whoops, there goes another one. *chomp!*

[eeknight.livejournal.com]

chats_noirs theory is that he's the producer's son. "It's time you moved out of the basement and became a movie actor."

[eeknight.livejournal.com]

The technical advisor for all combat footage is Billy Matthews, age 12, who made it through Solder of Fortune: Double Helix at the "Merc" difficulty setting.

last comments

[lagilman]

Lisa: "I'm starting to itch. It's making me break out in hives. (long pause) I'm horrified."


me: "you know, there's so going to be a sequel to this."

[hoosier-red.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear -- I went to check this out at the Sci.Fi website, and discovered that Jeff Combs was in it. Since I adore him to bits, I'm going to have to choke down some Dramamine and check this out. Eeesh.

[nachtswerg.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I was going to skip this one, but the comments posted here have forced to me TiVo it. I'm not sure if I can stomach it all at once, but it's just the cheesy slaq that SciFi loves for Saturday cinema. Catch the current Frankenstein-horror that the tabloids are pushing and wrap a film around it.

Someone mentioned the lead's chest-props earlier... yep, they're pretty funky. Think they used the same prosthetics team for the hammerhead as they did for those?

[burger-eater.livejournal.com]

That's William Forsythe, (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001235/) who had been in a ton of movies, usually as a baddie. He was Flattop in Dick Tracy, and the coked-up mobster in that one Steven Segal movie (I can't remember the title, but it should have been "I'm lookin' for Ritchie!" since Segal said that about 45 times over the course of the picture.

And he was terrific in The Waterdance. He's an honest-to-God actor with the right role.

As he's gotten older, Forsythe had gotten some sidekick roles, like in the TV show John Doe, and now he's finally a low-budget hero.

Anyway, just as Our Chubby Hero kissed The Girl for the first time, my son started throwing a tantrum. I had to put him to bed, and missed... let's see--sixty minutes of screen time, minus commercials makes it, roughly 54 minutes, at a Sci-Fi mandatory minimum of one death every 8 minutes... about seven dead people. How will I ever figure out what's going on?

Harry

[seachanges.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid they were.

Missed the first showing, am watching the repeat. Sweet baby Jesus, this thing is bad. OTOH, it's a horror movie with Jeffrey Coombs as a mad scientist, so that's kind of a given.

[seachanges.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's why I wound up watching it.

[newroticgirl.livejournal.com]

okay, i realize it's dreadfully early on a sunday morning as i peruse my friendslist... but for a horrifyingly scary second, i thought you were talking about "the adventures of sharkboy and lavagirl (in 3D)".

LMAO!!

[lagilman]

hile further discussing (okay, mocking) the movie this morning, paleologa pointed out that the designers of Mr. Hammerhead had clearly never actually seen an actual hammerhead shark. The head was not shaped with the proper two-bar shape, but rather, well, we renamed it "Sharkpants Squrehead." Head like a large block of wood with teeth, and a very silly, vaguely shark-like tail. The only thing they did right all movie was not try to show us much of the monster at all.

Also: how the hell did Sharkpants manage to be everywhere on the island, at all times? Dip a toe in a puddle of water? Munched. Lean too far over a saltwater tank in the lab? Munched. Pause for a moment in the mist-shrouded jungle? Munched.

Clearly, there were clones.

Hammerhead 2: Revenge of the Snark, er, Shark.

[seachanges.livejournal.com]

That's William Forsythe, who had been in a ton of movies, usually as a baddie.

He's also in Raising Arizona playing John Goodman's kid brother.

[hoosier-red.livejournal.com]

Sweet baby Jesus, this thing is bad. OTOH, it's a horror movie with Jeffrey Combs as a mad scientist, so that's kind of a given.

Well, to give credit where credit is due, the Jeffster DOES play a fabulous mad scientist, and he's got a family to feed so I suppose he's thinking, "Well, it's either this or McDonalds, and at least this way I don't smell like french fries at the end of the day."

It's just a pity that he never gets offered any comedy parts -- he's got a great sense of comic timing.

[seachanges.livejournal.com]

It's just a pity that he never gets offered any comedy parts -- he's got a great sense of comic timing.

You never know where he'll turn up. I've spotted him in an episode of CSI playing a small-town veterinarian, and most recently in a guest role on The 4400. The latter amused me, because they made a lot of references to H. P. Lovecraft in the episode, hearkening back to his Necronomicon days.

Yes, I am a connoisseur of bad horror flicks. ;)

[eeknight.livejournal.com]

He's also in Raising Arizona playing John Goodman's kid brother.

Cripes! I thought he looked familiar. Thanks.