The Writing Life, and some side commentary

[lagilman]

Had to put aside Retrievers3 for a bit to get the nonfiction project done. But it has been handed in, and on deadline, so go me! Now all I have to do is gear back up to that... oh, and knock together a working outline for the third Grail Quest book, too. And, um, work on a client's project, and schedule another client, and somewhere in there are some not-yet-bought things that are waiting a final polish, and...

Right. More caffeine.


New Fun Fact: swearing during sex isn't allowed in a Luna title. Not even to call on God.

Okay, now we KNOW these books are unrealistic.

*grin*

Comments

[kaigou.livejournal.com]

Is it possible to have really good sex without swearing at some point?

I actually sat down one time and made a promise to pay attention to what's said during sex, and asked several friends to think back (and to pay attention in the future). Contrary to all the soft to hard pr0n you can read: "Oh, Brad!" "Oh, Janet!" it appears that 99% of the folks out there, myself included, do not use proper names during sex.

Then again, listening to people actually talking, and I found that proper names are rarely used in the US. They're used to draw attention to one person when it's a group of people: "Hey, Brad, got those reports done?" or when speaking of someone who's not present. Since you're not having sex with a group and the person to whom you're speaking is most definitely present, first-names rarely become part of dialogue in actual sex.

Ever since I realized that, I do nothing but cringe at sex scenes where both characters pant each others' names out repeatedly, to the point of yelling the other character's name at climax. Heh.

Okay, it doesn't bother me half as much as bad spelling in LJ quizzes, but still. Meanwhile: no swearing during sex. *boggles*

[dianora2.livejournal.com]

I think it's hot in fictional sex, but too self-conscious in real sex. Hmm.

[dianora2.livejournal.com]

New Fun Fact: swearing during sex isn't allowed in a Luna title. Not even to call on God.

Where's the fun in that, I ask you?

huh?

[eeknight.livejournal.com]

New Fun Fact: swearing during sex isn't allowed in a Luna title. Not even to call on God.

What are you supposed to do in its stead, use Yosemite Sam swearing? "Col-frangit, that's goooood! More, more, you varmit! Don't stop, you bakka-blakka consanged fribbit!"

Re: huh?

[kaigou.livejournal.com]

LMAO!

[qnotku.livejournal.com]

Dear Suri,
So....let me get this straight: you can have the heroine lovingly and very graphically doing all sorts of things to the hero's Johnson (and, of course, he's busily checking her points and rotor too), but she can't scream, "Oh God, do me again, Sir Bumpkin of Loin, son of the Duke of Earl, second in line to the throne of Farfetched in the land of Cliche, God yes, do me, do me, do me!" Big no-no, right?

Okay. Some thought is required here, obviously if one wants to write sex scenes for this publisher. Are there specific rules to this restriction? Can one's heroine perhaps scream a different deity's name while in the throes of passion? "Oh! Oh! Yes! Yes! By Damballah-Wedo, YES! I beg of you, Sir Bumpkin: do that screw-doo that you do SO well!"

Or, if no deity-name calling whatsoever is allowed, how about the heroine resorting to caroling out her favorite cartoon stuff? "Oh Sir Bumpkin! By the power of Graystone, DO ME!"

Inquiring minds really want to know.

:big grin:
Teri

Re: huh?

[qnotku.livejournal.com]

LOL, I like your cartoon caterwauling MUCH better than mine!

Teri

[nick-kaufmann.livejournal.com]

New Fun Fact: swearing during sex isn't allowed in a Luna title.

Halfway through that sentence I thought you were actually going to talk about your personal life!

[lagilman]

Go back to your baby carrots, Kaufmann.

[lagilman]

I should imagine that calling upon a ficitonal deity would be acceptable -- since the Retrievers books are set in this world, and Wren was in fact raised in traditional, if lapsed household, she'd be more likely to say "oh God" or "Jesus, yes." Both of which seem to be no-nos.

I was able (I think, waiting to see the proofs) get some old-fashioned cusswords in there, however. *grin*


It's interesting, since the prohibition appears nowhere else in these books. i suspect it's a holdover from the Old Series-title Days of Silhouette.

[qnotku.livejournal.com]

I was able (I think, waiting to see the proofs) get some old-fashioned cusswords in there, however. *grin*

During sex cusswords or just your everyday run-of-the-mill, Ouch-I-stubbed-my-toe cusswords? :crosses fingers and thinks good thoughts for the continuation of Suri's blue language in Retrievers3:

BTW, Elaine Viets has a great story about sneaking two "farts" past her editor in one of her books. :chuckle: She is SO proud of that.

Now there's a non-fiction book for you, Suri. "Editorial No-Nos: 101 Ways Around Them"

Teri

[nick-kaufmann.livejournal.com]

My advice would be to replace each "Oh, God!" with a "Slap it!"

[librarista.livejournal.com]

Obvious answer: ball gags.

That'll teach the editors.

[ferragus.livejournal.com]

New Fun Fact: swearing during sex isn't allowed in a Luna title. Not even to call on God.

Very amusing, I flashed on a cartoon I saw once, sweet innocent bride sitting up in bed looking at new hubby, cowering in the corner with a look of fear and revulsion on his face. Wife says "But you told me to talk dirty".

Hurrah for you on all that you've gotten done, go out and celebrate with something decadent!

Because tomorrow (or tonight even!) it's Back to the Grindstone!

(knows our Suri, he does, yup)

[hoosier-red.livejournal.com]

New Fun Fact: swearing during sex isn't allowed in a Luna title. Not even to call on God.

Actually, this could be fun -- how OTT could you go with cries of non-profane passion? "Yes, Reginald! Plow, I say, plow my fertile fields with your manly blade! Peel back my silver wrapper and plunge into my Juicy Fruit! Oh, my darling, my sweet, my powdered sugar angel puppy, I'm becoming one with the universe!"

[havocthecat]

How about "Oh, Gods!" Or "Oh, Goddess!" Though if the other partner in the relationship isn't used to it, it's sure as hell going to throw a wrench in the works (which could be fun, depending on how kinky the characters are...)

[wiliqueen.livejournal.com]

Peel back my silver wrapper and plunge into my Juicy Fruit!

:: claps both hands over mouth, laughing uncontrollably until oxygen becomes SERIOUS issue ::

Call the meatwagon. I iz ded.

[qnotku.livejournal.com]

BAD Red! Bad, bad BAD! I've just been called on the carpet by my senior for a) spewing iced tea all over my screen, and; b) laughing like a hyena on crack,which, for some reason seems to have upset the cube gophers around me. Bah!

('Course when I showed her your post she giggled uncontrollably, which kind of got me out of the doghouse, but not much....)

:still coughing up ice cubes:
Teri

[hoosier-red.livejournal.com]

Thenk yew, thenk yew, I'll be here all week, and try the veal!

Re: huh?

[dianora2.livejournal.com]

Must. Scrub out. Brain.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

Peel back my silver wrapper and plunge into my Juicy Fruit!

I think you just won this thread.

[kaigou.livejournal.com]

Seconded.

[qnotku.livejournal.com]

Thirded.

Teri

[karentoe.livejournal.com]

Good enough to be in one of those bodice rippers I used to read when I was 12.

[lagilman]

Is it possible to have really good sex without swearing at some point?


[answer censored by the TMI Police, to the relief of all]

[lagilman]

Obvious answer: ball gags.

For the editors? Oh. Well, no, that wouldn't work, because [answer censored by the TMI Police. Again]

[lagilman]

Don't try the veal. I have it on good authority that it's been stewing all week.

There's plenty of ham about, though.

[librarista.livejournal.com]

No, no. for the characters! Then they can't say anything!

Gags wouldn't stop editors. You'd need to also restrain their arms so they couldn't type.

[kaigou.livejournal.com]

*snickers*