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lagilmanThis afternoon has been a bit...shaky. As most of you know, 9/11 did a number on me, emotionally, and it took years to even acknowledge it (why I will never say "you need to move on" or "you need to get over it" to anyone about anything, because So. Fucking. Not. Helpful.) So yeah, a bombing in Boston, the city where so many of my family lives/works? Even knowing that it was contained, that it was (relatively, terribly) a small incident, I was still stressed as hell. Especially when it was confirmed that one of the unexploded devices was found outside Boston proper, in my sister's town, where they'd been watching the race go by.
(family members who might have been affected have been accounted for, which is why I'm able to type this now)
I avoided any visual updates as the story broke, but even the texts were enough to trigger a mild "I need to sit down and cry/shake a bit" moment. It's the inability to DO anything but stand witness, distanced but immediate, that hurts me, then and now.
I am both unsettled and touched by the fact that one of my tweets, a reminder that you're not 'letting anyone down' by looking away from the media coverage if it's hurting you, has been retweeted now over 300 times, and translated into Dutch. Maybe I was able to do something this time? Even if just to reassure someone that they didn't have to tear open their own wounds, to help staunch someone else's...?
In times of awfulness, be a Helper, as Mister Rogers told us. However you can, as much as you can.
As to who did this, why, what their twisted logic might be...this has the feel of Oklahoma City all over again, although thankfully done with less competence. Tax Day, Patriot's Day (Observed) in Boston.... probably not a coincidence. But I'm not going to speculate further, because we don't know. And pointless speculation does damage, not healing.
I'm just lighting a candle, and sitting beside it. Feel free to light your own, pour a glass, and sit with me....
(family members who might have been affected have been accounted for, which is why I'm able to type this now)
I avoided any visual updates as the story broke, but even the texts were enough to trigger a mild "I need to sit down and cry/shake a bit" moment. It's the inability to DO anything but stand witness, distanced but immediate, that hurts me, then and now.
I am both unsettled and touched by the fact that one of my tweets, a reminder that you're not 'letting anyone down' by looking away from the media coverage if it's hurting you, has been retweeted now over 300 times, and translated into Dutch. Maybe I was able to do something this time? Even if just to reassure someone that they didn't have to tear open their own wounds, to help staunch someone else's...?
In times of awfulness, be a Helper, as Mister Rogers told us. However you can, as much as you can.
As to who did this, why, what their twisted logic might be...this has the feel of Oklahoma City all over again, although thankfully done with less competence. Tax Day, Patriot's Day (Observed) in Boston.... probably not a coincidence. But I'm not going to speculate further, because we don't know. And pointless speculation does damage, not healing.
I'm just lighting a candle, and sitting beside it. Feel free to light your own, pour a glass, and sit with me....
