If you're tired of living in New York...you need to move out so someone can come in.

[lagilman]

Tried to go to the $6 morning movie -- realized halfway there I'd forgotten my wallet. Went back, grabbed wallet, did some shopping instead (new wine glasses! New wall sconce!) and then met up with marinarusalka and Her Boy for lunch at Kefi, which is as pleasant as advertised, and I need to get back there sometime for dinner. Then I came home and found wine waiting for me (ah, our international world -- Australian wine sent to the US via The Netherlands!) and word that my betas really liked my story revisions (I guess I didn't break it after all, mizkit, or I broke it Just Enough). And a July deadline has been extended to 1 October, and while there was some disappointing news, it was news I was expecting, and there was potential good news coming hard on its heels, so...

All in all, I'd call this day a win.


Meanwhile, also worked on my "agency from the viewpoint of the author" blog, so look for that sometimes this week, and started compiling a list of "How to Write a Real New Yorker" list, for the benefit of out-of-towners (where "New Yorker" = resident of NYC, not NYS) p[yes, this is being compiled tongue-in-cheek. That doesn't mean it's not true]


1. New Yorkers will step off the curb while they wait for the light to change. There are a number of reasons why we do this, but we all (okay 80%) do, and we will get annoyed if you stand there and yab after the light changes, blocking our way.

2. Not all New Yorkers Live in Manhattan. There are five boroughs, and all of them contain a multitude of neighborhoods. What part of what borough you live in is very important, and can identify you to others rather quickly. It takes a long time to get from one borough to another via mass transit
2a. Brooklyn is huge. Seriously.
2b. Staten Island is a borough. We just like to pretend it's not.
2c. Manhattan is an island. So is Staten Island. Queens and Brooklyn are (on) an island (that just happens to be the same island as Long Island, no relation to NYC. It gets confusing. See scarletina's comment.). Only the Bronx is part of the mainland.

3. Central Park is massive. Not everyone goes there -- it just seems that way on the first warm weekend of Spring, and all summer.
3a. There are many other parks in NYC, many of them quite beautiful.

4. Yes, New Yorkers walk fast. Get the hell out of our way.

5. The ethnic diversity in NYC is more than many rural/suburban Americans can even imagine. We like it that way. Especially when they bring a new cuisine to town.
5b. New Yorkers think nothing of grabbing something to eat from a grease truck -- which may have some of the best food in the neighborhood. (I spent an entire winter eating lunch every work-day from the local souvlaki truck). And every second corner in Manhattan has its own bagel cart, and the locals are loyal to it.

6. New Yorkers aren't ignoring you, they're being polite. If we make eye-contact, we've infiltrated your personal space. Looking away allows you privacy even when we're elbow-to-rib on the subway.

7. If you need immediate [non-crime-related] help, go to the nearest fire department, not the NYPD. Firefighters have less paperwork, and can get you help faster [plus, they often have paramedics]. But make sure it's important before you bother them.

8. If you need information, ask a doorman. Any kind of information. They know Everything.

9. Driving in NYC isn't scary, so long as you know the rules.
9a. Except in Queens, where it's terrifying.

... anyone else got something to add? Or start up a list for your own city/locale in your LJ, and link it back here!

Comments

[scarlettina.livejournal.com]

...Queens and Brooklyn are an island...

Actually, they're not an island. They're on an island, an island separate from Manhattan.

Also, if you live anywhere on Long Island that is not Queens or Brooklyn, you do not live in New York City. People who live in New York City would laugh at you if you claimed otherwise.

The City means New York City. No other city is the city. There can be only one.

[lagilman]

Actually, they're not an island. They're on an island, an island separate from Manhattan.

Well, yes. That was what was meant by saying they were an island, as opposed to Manhattan being an island, and Staten Island being an island. I specifically left Long Island out of it. *grin* Will clarify for the nitpicky.

[nick-kaufmann.livejournal.com]

I would amend 9 with:

"9b. Also, midtown."

[rosefox]

You may say "I'm from New York" if you grew up in and/or have lived for at least ten* years in any of the five boroughs.

* Allowances may be made for the people who obviously should have been born here and were only born elsewhere through some grievous administrative error.

You may say "I live in New York" if you live in any of the five boroughs. If you live anywhere else in New York State, you should give the name of your town or city.

No matter where in New York State you live, every part of it north of you is "upstate" and every part of it south of you is not. However, only people who live two or more hours' drive from NYC may use the term "downstate".

If you are outside of NYC, "the city" refers to New York City. If you are inside of NYC, "the city" refers to Manhattan.

Most cities have a downtown that comprises the central business and shopping districts. NYC doesn't work this way. In Manhattan, "downtown" means south of (approximately) 34th Street, "uptown" means north of (approximately) 57th Street, and "midtown" is everything in the middle. Insofar as we have a downtown-like neighborhood in the sense that most other places use the term, it's midtown. "downtown" and "uptown" are also used as relative terms, e.g. "I have to go downtown to get some cupcakes from Magnolia and then be back uptown by 4 for my therapy appointment". Do not under any circumstances refer to "the downtown".

Neighborhoods have very strict boundaries. Know where they are or you will look like a fool. It's safest to think of New York neighborhoods as townships, which most of them used to be.

I believe NYC is the only city in the U.S. that contains five counties. Usually it's the other way around.

[lagilman]

If you are outside of NYC, "the city" refers to New York City. If you are inside of NYC, "the city" refers to Manhattan.

Oh yeah. I confuse the hell out of non-NYCers when I say I'm "going into the city" and they go "I thought you lived in the city?" like I was trying to pull one over on them....

This also goes for folk who live in certain towns in NJ, especially those who work in Manhattan.

[rosefox]

This also goes for folk who live in certain towns in NJ, especially those who work in Manhattan.

B&T. *spit*

[lagilman]

*raises eyebrow* Beg pardon, m'dear, as someone who grew up there and took the damn PATH every day for 15 years. B&T are in NJ but not all who live in NJ are B&T.

[nycdeb.livejournal.com]

I love this list!!!

[rosefox]

Oh, is this meant to be a snark-free discussion of NYC? That's not very NYC. *) I lived in Jersey City for most of two years, so I do know the distinction.

[lagilman]

No, it's just not good manners to insult your hostess. :-P Also, we need to be accurate so that Those In Need will know what we're talking about. B&T come into the city to do the interesting things, but then go home again and say how glad they are not to live in the city, where it's dirty and noisy and etc.


[B&T = "bridge and tunnel."]

[nick-kaufmann.livejournal.com]

"downtown" and "uptown" are also used as relative terms, e.g. "I have to go downtown to get some cupcakes from Magnolia and then be back uptown by 4 for my therapy appointment"

Ha! I love it!

[smoemeth.livejournal.com]

Isn't it also true that "The City" means "Manhattan" to a resident of Staten Island, or the outer reaches of Brooklyn or Queens? I've heard the term used that way quite a bit.

(Apropos of nothing, why Staten Island is not part of New Jersey will never fail to croggle me.)

[lagilman]

Because NJ doesn't want it.

(trufax)

[lagilman]

and yes, see below via Rose. "The City" is Manhattan to most residents of NYC.

[smoemeth.livejournal.com]

Respectfully submitted, as someone who spends enough time in NYC to feel like she lives there:

* There is no such thing as a "convenience store" in NYC. It's a "deli".

* Unless they are filthy rich, no resident of Manhattan in their right mind voluntarily owns a car. At least, not one they keep in the city.

* Residents of the outer boroughs may own cars. If they do, they spend a lot of time moving them to abide by alternate-side.

* Connecticut = "the country". Even inner-city Connecticut, as we noted to our amusement in college when our Stuyvesant-grad classmates referred to downtown Middletown as "living in the country".

* If you take a NYC resident out of the city, you will soon witness their shock and dismay as they realize that it's not possible to order delivery food at 2am.

[scbutler.livejournal.com]

Um, might I add the following"

Unless you're driving a cab, a bus, a limo, a truck, an ambulance, a construction vehicle of some kind, or a police car, STAY THE HELL OUT OF MIDTOWN WITH YOUR GODDAM CAR!!!!

That goes double for anything with NJ plates.

[scbutler.livejournal.com]

Um, I think I might have insulted the hostess above. But I'm from NYC so I don't take it back.

And I had to laugh when my father, who grew up in the Midwest and moved to NYC when I was two, started referring to me as B&T when I moved to Brooklyn from Manhattan.

[scbutler.livejournal.com]

Umm, not be a New Yorker or anything, but a convience store is a deli depending on your neighborhood. Most places it's a bodega, or sometimes a Korean store. Twenty-five years ago it was a Span-Am. Fifty years ago it was a corner store or sometimes a candy store.

I think Isaac Asimov grew up in a corner store.

[scbutler.livejournal.com]

I think I agree with #4 and #6 best. Get the hell outta my way!

[lagilman]

*snerk* I learned how to drive in NYC with a car w/ NJ plates, but I did most of my intensive driving going to visit my folks who lived in Manhattan, so I figured I got a "family pass" exemption. Also, I'm told I drive like a cabbie (no fear, alternate merge is the law so wait your damn turn, asshole!, hitting a pedestrian is bad form but scaring them is funny, and get the hell out of the way of the vehicle with sirens)

[lagilman]

oh hell, Westchester is the country! (or The Hamptons or the Catskills, depending on where you live and what ethnicity you are). Connecticut is the Great Beige Wasteland (sorry guys).


Also, not every neighborhood has alternate side of the street parking. In my area, there are two 2-hour periods each week when you have to move your car -- otherwise you're set.

[oh. there should be an entry for alternate parking, yes/no?]

[saladinahmed.livejournal.com]

Love this!

Also:

1)That "New Yawk" accent you hear in commercials for (ugh, shudder) Domino's "Brooklyn style" (!?) pizza? There's only about 50 people left who really sound like that. They don't spend a lot of time in Manhattan. The Bugs Bunny/Ben Grimm accent is mostly an artifact of the early-to-mid 20th c.

2)Contrary to the movies, your cabbie should not be a fat greasy white guy with said accent. He's about 500 times more likely to be from Bangladesh.

3)People who grew up in New York may have very little knowledge of boroughs other than their own.

And, just to be fair, a couple of items *for* New Yorkers:

1) "The City" is only Manhattan on the East Coast. If you are in Chicago, unless you are reminiscing or commiserating with other New Yorkers, saying 'the city' makes you sound like a bit of a tool. If you're in Oakland or Berkeley, 'the city' means San Francisco

2) 72nd street is NOT 'uptown.' Manhattan streets go into the 200s, even though many (mostly white) New Yorkers think it stops at 96th or 110th street.

[saladinahmed.livejournal.com]

Also, for tourists (and the clueless people who moved here b/c they wanted to live some Sex in the City dream) more than writers:

-The RIGHT-HAND side! Walk on the RIGHT-HAND side!! Is that really so hard to grasp!?

[lagilman]

2) 72nd street is NOT 'uptown.' Manhattan streets go into the 200s, even though many (mostly white) New Yorkers think it stops at 96th or 110th street.

Amen. Getting some people *looks at the guilty parties* to meet me at some fabulous restaurants/clubs north of 125 is like asking them to move to Omaha. They freak and counter-suggest Chelsea.

[smoemeth.livejournal.com]

I suppose that falls under the same header as "why the Upper Peninsula is not part of Wisconsin". :)