On top of the whole "mudfight" (which I think belittles the reaction of the offended) and "leaving the human race" bit, you said this:

(more: by leaving, people are saying "I don't care enough to help make it better.")

I'd definitely call that shaming and manipulative. That's like guilting someone into staying with an abusive partner and telling someone they might be able to change them.

However, I'm probably not the best person to argue on behalf of the offended. I'm not a member, though I was toying with applying for Associate membership until I heard about all this. I'm just giving my reaction as a someone from the outside noting the kind of people in the organization who seem to have the most public influence.