lagilman: coffee or die (Default)

For those new to the game, every week we're given a word (the "book quote for Wednesday") and challenged to come up with an excerpt from our work to match it.

This week, the word is "short," and I'm sharing a bit from the ongoing "cat noirish" (really!) serial I'm creating over on Patreon....


 

I’d found over the years that the reasonable explanation, especially when it came to professional crime, was usually the true one. 

Still, I was up.  And short of curling on the seashell-upholstered sofa and reading a tatty paperback all day, I might as well go see if the alleged crime scene gave up anything more under direct daylight.
 
lagilman: coffee or die (Default)
 Part Two of "In My Youthful Folly," aka the read-along of my first attempted novel (at the ripe age of barely-22), is up at Patreon. For Just One Dollar! a month, you too can follow along as I make snide commentary to my younger self...

(plus, cat noir serial fiction, flash fiction, Irritated Meerkat Rants, excerpts, and more!)
 

https://www.patreon.com/LAGilman
lagilman: coffee or die (Default)

OK, I'm doing the thing.  

That unfinished first attempt at a fantasy novel I wrote when I was 22,  just found during the great unboxening?  I’m posting it (or as much as we can stand, anyway) to my Patreon for mocking.  Yep, that's right, pay $1/month to help support the feline medical fund, and get full mocking rights....


Disclaimer: I have very little memory of this book at all, and no idea how bad it gets.  But I suspect you'll also find the roots of a lot of my current work already lurking in the storeroom of my brain...

lagilman: (Seattle Wheel)
Whoops, looks like I'm going to owe my patrons an audio this month - we hit the "have Auntie Meerkat read each episode of the serial" bonus level of the Patreon!

(thankfully, we've just started the newest serial, so I should be able to catch up easily enough.)


  • - "Author's notes" video updates, discussing each new episode and whatever else is on my alleged mind

  • - Monthly deleted excerpts from works that will never be seen elsewhere (warning: there may be spoilers!)

  • - Each complete serial you supported (in mobi or epub format), digitally "pawmarked" and numbered.

  • - An original flash fiction, every month.
lagilman: (Seattle Wheel)
And the next installment of Duchess, PI is about to go off to the beta-readers... are you signed up yet? Only $1 for the ongoing adventures of the best feline PI in the Alley! (plus much more!)


"I lifted my head to look around again, even as I felt my claws flex, digging into the sand like I was preparing to leap on something. The old hunting instinct isn’t as buried as civilized folk like to think, and a smart puss learns to listen to it when it growls."
lagilman: coffee or die (citron presse)
December's Rant is up for my patrons!  Guaranteed politics-free, but with added coffee shop bad behavior...


and for those at the $9+ level, the new flash fiction piece "All Things Considered" is also up!


$1/month gets you entry, if you're not already a patron!  Original fiction, Rants, behind the scenes updates, and more!  Funds go to support the very expensive medical habits of the Diabetic Feline and his asthmatic brother.
lagilman: coffee or die (citron presse)
For all patrons on my Patreon, episode 5 of The Case of the Feckless Ferrets is now up for your reading amusement!
(and if you haven't been patronizing, now is an excellent time to jump in, since we have a stand-alone story coming next month!)


Meanwhile, this week's #bookqw, for those not on Twitter, is "nothing."  As in, there's nothing to be afraid of....  except, of course, when there is.

lagilman: coffee or die (citron presse)
Starting this month, there has been a change to some of the Patreon rewards (adding, not subtracting!)

In addition to the on-going original serial fiction, the monthly rants, the "writerbrain" updates and the deleted extras, for patrons at the $9 level, there will be a new flash fiction every month, and the $25 tier has been upgraded to a new Tuckerization for every new serial.

https://www.patreon.com/LAGilman
lagilman: coffee or die (citron presse)
WRITING. Again. Finally. I was starting to worry I'd gone full-on into editorial mode and would never get out. (I kid, I kid, I always know my way out)

Currently playing in the Patreon-only world of Duchess, PI. $1/month gets you entree into the mind of the Alley's best snoop-for-hire....

"For someone in my line of work, people-watching was both a professional skill and a hobby, and this crowd was a masterclass in expensive boredom mixed with a smear of middle-class pretension."
lagilman: coffee or die (citron presse)
You have a patented Meerkat Rant in your inbox, entitled "History Will Fuck you Up."

If you're not a member, you get nothing. That's how it works.

($1/month gets you in the door, though. Whatcha waiting for?)
lagilman: coffee or die (citron presse)
One last reminder before the new episode starts: if you want in on the Adventures of Duchess, PI (specifically, "The Case of the Feckless Ferrets,") not to mention the random ranting, fannish flailing and Insider Information, now's the time to sign up for my Patreon...

$1 gets you the basics, $5 gets you so much more...

https://www.patreon.com/LAGilman
lagilman: coffee or die (lol)
A taste of what my Patreons will be getting in their in-boxes soon...

My partner Dickie was greying around the muzzle, but still stocky and strong, pure bulldog down to his claws. “Pup,” he’d started, and never mind I was full-grown, to him I was forever going to be working on my milk-teeth, “Pup, ya gotta learn how to leave the job on the job.”

“Yeah Dickie, I know.” I’d been getting that speech for a month straight now, ever since he decided I wasn’t going to wash out and might some day make a decent cop.

Join in here!
lagilman: coffee or die (citron presse)
BTW and FYI, we're $32/month shy of me adding a monthly rant/essay to my patreon (first up: when history fucks with the writer). If that sounds like your kind of thing...

(Come for the cat noir crackfic! stay for the rants! Or come for the rants and stay for the crackfic! Both are good choices!)
lagilman: coffee or die (citron presse)
Despite Life Happening, I managed to get episode 3 of "The Case of the Tom in Trouble" written! In which and old flame appears, and poor Duchess (and her new sidekick) finds themselves in more trouble than they'd planned......

(the episode will go up today or tomorrow, depending on my connectivity)

https://www.patreon.com/LAGilman
lagilman: coffee or die (citron presse)
THE COLD EYE has gone back to my esteemed editor, wherein he will hopefully assure me that I did not break anything new in the fixing of previous breaking things, and ready it for production. Which is good, because we have a Pub Date! And a Pre-order page! (for Amazon US. Canadians click here. Australians! The UK only has the Kindle option up)

and we also have a pre-order page for the trade paper edition of SILVER ON THE ROAD, too. (Amazon US again - Canadians!  No UK option yet).

What's that, you say?  A cover for THE COLD EYE?  Excellent question.  I hand you over to my editor and art director for that.  guys?  Guys?  *echoes bounce back*  Right.  Updates as they happen, then.

Meanwhile, I am working on the second episode of The Case of the Tom in Trouble, and getting ready to post the Patrons-only vid. What's that? You're not following along yet? No fears, it's easy to get in: $1 a month gets you the story, more gets you more.

And in-between that? Still working at the tasting room - biking to work when weather permits (and in the PNW the weather mostly permits), so the meerkat is rebuilding her cardio, five and ten miles at a time. Also, I can now successfully bungee-tie a bottle of wine to my bike's rack and not worry about it slipping. Is there a Scout badge for that?
lagilman: coffee or die (lol)
Trying to find the right place to end the first installment of "Duchess, PI" for this month's Patreon post. Do I choose the introduction of the dubious sidekick, or the run-in with the bark AND bite cops?

(oh, the delicious silliness of it all)

Also, starting to collect pet names from relevant supporters. Look for an email, if you're one of them!

And if you're not... there's still time to get in on it!
lagilman: coffee or die (citron presse)
As promised, the first "official" post of my Patreon, although I couldn't figure out how to relevant post the photo directly. So I will post it here, and then you can go read the post itself.

Please, no photos, no photos....


Going forward, most of the posts will be patron-restricted. Minimum support of $1/month to be a patron of the (cracktastic) arts!

https://www.patreon.com/posts/welcome-to-my-s-4175978
lagilman: coffee or die (citron presse)
There will be an Official First Post at some point later today or first thing tomorrow, but, um. I may have not only committed Patreon, but Committed To Writing CrackFic.

If it please (and amuse) the court...



Several months ago, the opening line of a story came to me, and it made me crack up so hard the people at the Sunday Writing Cafe demanded to know what had gone through my mind.

The first time I met the tom, I knew he was going to be trouble. He walked in like he owned the place, not an orange tuft out of place, sleek and slick and pretending like he didn’t have a problem. I knew he had one; you could see it in their eyes, and anyway, the Human wouldn’t send me one who didn’t.
That’s what I do. I fix problems. They call me the Duchess, and I know every back alley milk-dealer and fishmonger in the city.


“Oh, you have to write that!” was the general reaction.

“There is no way anyone would buy this,” I protested. “It’d be total crackfic!” Unlike my ‘real’ mysteries, written under the name L.A. Kornetsky, where I try to keep things realistic, this would have cats and dogs and humans (and rats, because what’s pseudo-noir without a dirty rat or two?) interacting in an equal and implausible level…

“That’s why it would be so much fun!” my friends went on, because they’re Like That.

“And I don’t have time to write original fiction just to amuse myself, not with bills to pay and a diabetic cat to keep in medication…” And at that point my objections tripped over their own feet.

“Do it as a Patreon,” someone suggested, sensing my weakness. “Write the cat noir crackfic to cover the cost of CatofSize’s insulin!”

Because everyone knows that CatofSize has more fans online that I do.

But then life got busy with other things, and I pushed the story to the side….but the story kept pushing back, and I realized that writing it was going to happen, one way or the other. And CatofSize’s insulin isn’t getting any cheaper.

So here it is, your chance to encourage my more gonzo side, and see what happens in the dark corners of my mind when I haven’t had quite enough sleep and things get weird silly utterly ridiculous….

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Laura Anne Gilman

June 2017

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